Mum says she's seen it before, back in December when she had her last surgery. A lot of the information I know from practice, after I returned and was suddenly thrown into the "deep end" of taking care of mum.
Breathing exercises, getting out of bed, exercises of the limbs, lung expansion exercises, phloem extraction, etc, etc... To think, just three months ago, mum went through all this, and how wrong I was then to think that that would be the last major procedure mum has to go through...
I suddenly have these pangs of fear, exacerbated when I look at mum and see how sickly she is. She is so thin, so frail, in a lot of discomfort. It really pains my heart, really wrenches my soul seeing mum like this, and knowing that this time tomorrow she'll most likely be in the operation room...
I am so afraid... Never have I felt such levels of anxiety, and tomorrow I will know what it feels like to be waiting outside the operation room, to wait and wait and wait and wonder what is happening, wonder if mum is still ok, if mum is still with us... But the doctors know what they are doing, I must trust them and have faith in their professionalism. All I need to do is sign the agreement to proceed.
I will be all alone tomorrow... All alone while I wait and wait.
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