Nightmares

Studying has been such a struggle, a painful struggle. Why? Because I'm not interested, at all... Because I'm not into the law! 

Why am I even doing this, for what reason? For what purpose? For whom?

 Is this why I try to do everything but study for  an exam that I don't even want to do? 

I just feel like napping, sleeping, napping and sleeping... And that's what I do. 

And i dream...

I see my family, I see my mum, whom I miss so much. I see my brother, my home in Europe, my cat who passed away in October. I see all that I miss, all that I treasured in life....

I see them all, and I long to be there with them. There in this image of reality which only appears when i sleep. is this why i sleep so much?  Is this why So  i can escape and hope to join them in the world of dreams?

Nap dream...

I saw both my parents again.

It was so real, FELT so real! The emotions, the scene, the way were spoke and behaved.
The tears...

We were having some sort of family reunion, all about to sit at the dinner table.
Dad was in his room, napping. Mum and I in the kitchen making the final touches to dinner. Brother was around somewhere, I think using his computer.

I felt it, I felt I was there.

It was too real... It felt so real.

I woke up drained and in tears again...