My student visa to stay in Canada expires in around four months, so it's about time to think about renewing it. I filled in all the necessary forms online, and all I need are some documents to support my application. One such document is a letter from my faculty saying that I'm registered there and that I need an extension to complete my degree.
So I go into the graduate students' office and ask for this letter. "One week", the secretary said. One week to get a letter saying I'm a student at the university and that I need an extension for my visa to study. Why does it take one week? In the time it took for her to explain that they've so busy with work these days, and that in the many, many emails they send out telling students that they need one week's notice to process requests, she could have printed out the document I need and I would have walked away happy.
But no. It takes one week for some reason. Even though I knew that all it takes is for the secretary to copy and paste my name on some official template. That takes one week. But she said she'll try to get it to me sooner, so I was somewhat assured.
An hour later I received an email from the secretary. Sorry, no letter until I submit a so-called "Tracking Form". The tracking form must indicate a report of my progress and timeline of different stages in the completion of my thesis:
with confirmation from the supervisor that there have been regular meetings, that appropriate progress has been made, and that the next session is required in order to develop the thesis in order to reach submission quality.
What it is is an idiotic piece of bureaucracy that keeps secretaries like her busy over nothing. It's supposed to (as the name suggests) keep track of student's progress with their studies. And everyone's supposed to fill one in so the administration knows what we're up to.
Why do I need to fill one in, I asked. A few months ago I had expressly mailed the administration to let them know that I have not been making much progress lately because of my mum's situation. They mailed back, acknowledging my situation, and even expressing sympathy. I thought that was the end of it, and that I don't have to deal with them anymore...
And now suddenly I need to fill this "tracking form" in so that I can extend my student visa? What should I write under reason's for failing to achieve the objectives I set out last year? That my mum is doing chemo and that I've been shuttling back and forth between places? That I'm often so depressed I don't feel like working or going out at all? Why do they have to know this... they know this already. I told them. Why do they have to have all this in writing?
I fail to see why it is so important to the administration, who do nothing but keep our files in order, to know how far I am progressing. I have three years to finish my degree, and it's only been half that time. I can use all the time I want, and I'm sure that I can finish in time. But by the way they keep on asking students like me for tracking forms, it's as if they want to get rid of me.
I spoke to my supervisor about this before, and he too thought it was a ludicrous extra invented by people who have nothing better to do than bother students (and professors) with signatures. A waste of time writing up all the things that have been accomplished and drawing up sham timetables and deadlines which do not have any significance whatsoever. Where do these tracking forms go? Who looks at them? Who actually cares, except the people in the student administration who seem to have a fit if the tracking forms are not submitted on time?
So now I have to fill in this ridiculous form just to please those people in administration. Without it, I can't get my letter proving I'm a student at the university, and without the letter I cannot get my visa. Who gave these administrators so much power to dictate whether I can stay in the country? Are they going to expel me if I do not complete such a form?
Utterly ridiculous lot of Kafkaesque bureaucracy...
The door rang, and outside was a dark girl. I opened the door, and she showed me her card, and went on in French about her cause. I understood most of it, something about her classmates going to do humanitarian work. "Two chocolates for 5 dollars. Super bon!"
I turned to search for a few coins in the kitchen shelf, and gave the girl the money. She was grateful, and handed me two giagantic bars of chocolate. Indeed, on the bar was more information about their cause, and a link to the organisation which helps charities raise money for similar events.
"Bonne chance!" I said, glad that I have extra karma points and two big bars of chocolate.
I'm not sure why I can't sleep at night. I go to bed, and try to close my eyes and wait for sleep to come. But sleep wanders and visits only a few hours later. By that time it's already almost morning.
So my days have been pretty much upside down these days. Day is night, and night is day. I don't like it, because I feel unhealthy when I go to bed too late. And when I sleep late, I sleep in too, Usually until after noon. And so the vicious cycle continues.
Maybe it's a pattern, A phase I go through before I leave on a long trip. It's happened before, and mainly I think because I'm just feeling agitated and anxious, About the long trip ahead, about being away for so long, About being faced daily with mum's illness.
At least here I am separated by distance and time difference (though that does not make it better, it makes it easier to 'escape', especially after I turn off skype...).
Unhappiness where's when I was young, And we didn't give a damn, 'Cause we were raised, To see life as fun and take it if we can. My mother, my mother, She hold me, she hold me, when I was out there. My father, my father, He liked me, oh, he liked me.
Spoke to mum this morning, and she seems alright. But she said she has a throat ache, and it aches everytime she drinks or swallows. It's the chemo, she said. The drug is so strong it 'burns' the insides of the throat, causing it to become irritated and dry. When you drink or eat something, the food or liquid scratches the insides of the throat. And even her tongue is 'burnt' she said. Not pleasant.
I shivered at the thought, and shiver still when I imagine what it must be like, what it must feel like... I remember she showing it to me once, last year or maybe two years ago, when she was doing chemo. The flesh of the tongue looked like it was singed with scalding water... unbearable.
But mum said she is fine.
I wonder often whether she is just saying so for my sake.
And most likely it is not because of the smelly feet and socks of the person next to you. The smell is too long lingering to be the frequent passing of ‘wind’ which many of the flying public suffer from. Neither is it the smell emanating from open toilet behind (or in front of) you.
The problem may very well be “cabin contamination”, also known as “bleed air contamination”. In the cabin of a flying plane, the air that passengers and crew breathe is continuously pumped in and out of the cabin through mechanisms that flow through the engines of the aircraft. As the engine turbine turns, fresh air is sucked in or out of the plane. Ideally that is the case. However, ever since the 1950s problems have been reported with air being contaminated with fumes from the engine, and worsened in the 1960s after the air circulation systems of commercial jetliners were designed to draw cabin and flight deck air supply from the engines and auxiliary power unit (“bleed air”):
Aircraft rely on engine bleed air to pressurize cabins, provide ventilation and other uses. Once compressed, the air is cooled and sent into the cabin and cockpit. About 50% of the air in a plane’s cabin is bleed air, and the rest is filtered recirculated air. Cockpits sometimes use 100% bleed air (source: WSJ).
An episode of Zembla (Gift in de cockpit—Poison in the cockpit) drew attention to the seriousness of the problem in the Netherlands and with the Dutch airline KLM. A maintenance technician with KLM, who has been concerned about the problem for some time says the issue falls on deaf ears within the airline:
“It is not the airline companies that keep this quiet, but the industry as a whole. A number of aircrafts are notorious: the [Boeing] 757, the Bae 146, and the Fokker 100 and 70.The Fokker engines of Rolls Royce always leaks. It’s the seals, the rings, and the lower chambers of the compressors. If those leak, there can be oil fumes can enter the supply of air [into the cabins].
It was clear that the BAe 146 was not the only aircraft type affected and that the Boeing 757 had also been similarly affected. Report of other aircraft types such as the F100 [Fokker], A320/321 [Airbus], B737 [Boeing] and DHC-8 [De Havilland] experiencing "fumes" although not to the same extent.
Any BAe 146 pilot will confirm that the smells on the aeroplane, particularly on the ground before flight are very bad. I have reason to believe that these smells are not good for any occupants on board. The smells originate from the air conditioning system and on bad days can be seen as feint blue fumes in the cabin for the first 10 - 15 minutes before actual flight, it tends to clear - just before the passengers arrive.
It happens regularly that the cabin really smells. It is the [smell of stinking socks]. Just recently, my co-pilot got a bout of severe coughing. Personally I had irritations in my nose. […] Sometimes even the passengers complain about the stench. There are technicians who say that you are just breathing in oil.
The UK’s Department for Transport reports that since 2001, there have been some 36,000 complaints about the problem, and assures the public that only 0.05% of flights a(or 1 in 2000 flights) are affected. Though an expert neurologist interviewed in the programme says that the risk to occasional fliers may not be so high, airline crew and frequent business fliers must be aware of the problem. At least three former KLM pilots are filing a claim against the airline. A briefing prepared by the UK’s House of Commons:
Dr Sarah Mackenzie Ross, a clinical neuropsychologist at the University of London, says the illness could be affecting up to 200,000 passengers a year. Many experts and campaigners consider that a conservative figure. In January this year, investigative journalists from German and Swiss TV secretly took 31 swabs from aircraft cabins on popular airlines. These were analysed in the laboratories at the University of British Columbia under the supervision of Professor Christian van Netten, a leading toxicologist. Twenty-eight of the swabs were found to have dangerously high levels of TCP.
A Dutch toxicologist interviewed in the programme, especially as a hazardous neurotoxin known as TCP (found in, among other things, chemical weapons) are present in engine oil used in commercial aviation. Exposure to such the neurotoxin leads to “tunnel vision” and the feeling of dizziness. Further, heated engine oil often results in chemical reactions that release a toxic chemical called trimethylolpropane phosphate, which can lead to convulsions epileptic attacks (and in the case of mice, convulsions followed by death). A French report cites that the extended exposure to the “smelly sock” fumes can result in infertility and pose a threat to the unborn child. Report by the European Aviation Security Agency on the symptoms of cabin contamination:
This ranges from benign symptoms like unpleasant odour, light eye or nose irritation, light headache up to more serious symptoms like severe headache, difficulty to concentrate, nausea or muscle cramp. The most serious symptoms can substantially degrade flight crew awareness and performance of their duties. Then, the main associated safety threat would be a dual and simultaneous pilot incapacitation occurring during a critical phase of flight such as take-off or landing, which would be potentially catastrophic [emphasis mine].
As a former British Airways pilot describes it, the smell is sometimes very faint, but resembles that of a “wet sock, wet dog, or gymnasium type of smell”. A source of the problem is the use of lubricant oil to lubricate parts of the engine. When a seal is broken or worn, it is often difficult to address the problem without taking the whole engine apart in a specialist hangar—which can be a costly and time consuming endeavour. So often airlines would continue to fly the aircraft, even though leakages exist.
One reported incident is case of flight KL1540, from Leeds to Amsterdam on 2 December 2009. Shortly after taking off, the 23 year old Fokker 100 (registration: PH-OFE) returned to Leeds due to problems with the air quality, which prompted the pilots to put on their oxygen masks. In the logbook of the plane were written the words: “Crew dizzy”. A few weeks after the incident, the problem occurred again, and this time it was so severe that the plane was returned to Amsterdam without any passengers on board. One of the engines was replaced, but the problems of engine fumes returned shortly afterwards. A KLM technician on the little Fokker:
The machine still has dealing with complaints of “wet socks”, which does not surprise me. The engine, used to replace the [old one], comes from a machine which also suffered from the same complaint”.
An investigation by Fokker after the incident recognises that it was a “serious complaint” but assures that there are no serious problems with the plane. Fokker admits that the investigation onlyconducted measurements into the quality of the airflow and the temperature in the cabin, but whether toxic oil fumes are leaking into the cabin was not measured. In response to whether such planes should continued to be flown, Vice President of Fokker says:
If KLM decides that an aircraft can fly, and I am the passenger and I go sit onboard, then we fly […] [the reliability of the Fokker fleet] is only getting better, so I do not have a single problem with it. I’m going to fly in every Fokker there exists. […] The airline company makes the decision whether it is safe to fly.
KLM denies that there has ever been a situation through which exposure to toxic fumes placed the safety of the crew or passengers at risk. In a written response, KLM states: “Only aircrafts of which we know are 100% safe are permitted to fly […] The quality of the air on board our airplanes are constantly checked”. Even so, KLM does not allow any interviews to be conducted with pilots or technicians at Schiphol. Spokesperson for KLM: “We do see the reason [for an interview]. Exactly because from our perspective maybe there is less [of a problem] than what other people assert”.
The airline and Fokker attribute the problem of “smelly sock” to and fungus and bacterial formations—and because of not oil leakages. Vice-President of Fokker attributes the smell on water on board the aircraft:
In the plane there is a lot of water […] so we have throughout the years brought about some changes to ensure that the plane remains as dry as possible, and that no blankets become wet and so on. […] The complaints [about smelly socks] keep on coming, so we have to keep on [investigating].
Since 2007 the Dutch Transport and WaterManagement Inspectorate reports that there has been 17 reports of problems with stench inside the cabin “possibly due to engine malfunction or problems in the air conditioning […] There are 13 reports in which the crew or the passengers became unwell. The Inspectorate takes these sort of reports extremely seriously”. Even so, it is up to the airlines to self-report the problem, which is unlikely to happen.
4. Aircraft have no detection equipment for contaminated air yet aircrews are not required to even have a sense of smell to be able to fly. Many compounds present in contaminated air are also odourless like carbon monoxide.
5. The breathing air for passengers and crews comes from ‘bleed air’ in flight, which is taken from the engines. This is not filtered and is known to become contaminated with engine oils and hydraulic fluids.
7. Airlines do not tell passengers they have been exposed to contaminated air and never check up with exposed passengers to investigate any medical effects of exposure after an event.
8. Airlines fail to warn passengers of the serious health effects that can occur from exposure to contaminated air.
9. Most passengers assume the air they breath is free of hazardous chemicals as they trust the airline they fly with to supply clean air. Should they get sick, few if any ever make the link.
10. The CAA is entirely funded by the airlines it regulates. This results in a serious conflict of interest. This has resulted in the CAA dealing with the ongoing contaminated air exposure issue in a negligent manner. The CAA in this regard fails to protect the travelling public and working crews.
14. Serious failures in flight safety have resulted from exposure to contaminated air as few crews actually use oxygen when they suspect the air is contaminated as they ought to. The airlines and CAA know this, but do nothing to rectify this hazardous condition. Why? As to do so, would be costly to the industry.
15. Lip service is being payed to regulations regarding the reporting of contaminated air events or the airworthiness of an aircraft which is suffering from such events.
17. The Government and regulator who are entrusted to protect the public are in the eyes of many either protecting British industry (British Aerospace) or failing to enforce regulatory change
To those of us who knew the pain Of valentines that never came And those whose names were never called When choosing sides for basketball It was long ago and far away The world was younger than today And dreams were all they gave for free To ugly duckling girls like me
We all play the game and when we dare To cheat ourselves at solitaire Inventing lovers on the phone Repenting other lives unknown That call and say, "come dance with me" And murmur vague obscenities At ugly girls like me, at seventeen
Actually, more like a hot chocolate, because neither of us drink coffee. It's been a good while since I last saw her. She hasn't changed much, and she said I still have the same hair, same face. I guess that is a good sign.
We sat down at a quiet coffee shop and started connecting. She's actually my first 'real' friend in Canada, a friend of a friend, who was introduced to me so I could practice my French (or the bits and pieces of it...). But soon she became a close friend, as we discovered that we have many things in common. Somehow last year we lost touch... partly I guess because I was away a lot, and when I did come back, I find it hard to reconnect with people. I mean... why depress people with sad news and my troubles when I have not seen them for a long time?
But I'm glad I met up with her again... we spent some time talking about what has happened to me recently. She said she was sorry for me, having to face death again and again, and that my mum is lucky to have me as a son.
I was quiet. I do what I can, and sometimes I think that is not enough... sometimes people seem to forget how I hurt inside, behind the smiles, behind the hardwork, and behind the long and many travels. It is hard. It is hard... but I don't like to complain to people, to bother them with my troubles, especially as they all seem to have their own little lives and problems to worry about.
"Where do you belong?" she asked, at one point.
Almost without hesitation I said here in Canada. Not the Netherlands... not where I feel almost every moment of the day I am and will always be a (coloured) foreigner. Not in Taiwan... though there is where my roots still lie, and where my mum and family is. It is here in Canada, in my little appartment, with my little black and white cat. I may be away a lot, I may have my suitcase constantly by the door in case I need to go again at a moment's notice... but here I am at peace, at ease and can be myself. Fully.
"Though I do wish," I said, "There is something concrete to tie me down here." And by that something I actually meant someone.
If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me And just forget the world Forget what we're told Before we get too old Show me a garden that's bursting into life
