Rat and mouse

I received the plea for help early in the afternoon, and within the hour or so I was at ground-zero: The kitchen of my friend which had been accordingly quarantined due to mice infestation.

There was at first not much to see but cupboards once filled with foods and pots and pans, now empty and bare. Then something moved. And shifted again. A little head, beady eyes. Disappearing into a small gap. My first encounter with the culprit. Little black bits lay on the floor here and there.

I opened my backpack and took out my expert mouse catching device. Two plastic tupperware boxes that only the day before contained home-made soup and stirfry vegetables I had brought to work with me. Now they were to serve as the mice's temporary prison hold.

That is if they could be caught. My friend started seeing them around her feet a few days ago. Five, or more, little mice, fur still gray and fresh, but nonetheless already cunning and ever so hungry. It is a real nuisance, a mouse in the house, as I only know too well from my own encounter with Musco Mousovic exactly a year ago. And at first my friend wanted to go buy mouse traps and poison, but I offered to help, hoping perhaps a little suffering could be averted. After all, as a Rat myself, I feel for the predicaments of my fellow rodent-kind. That, and plus I had nothing planned on this rainy Saturday.

At first I left the cupboard doors open, and lured the mice with bits of chocolate, croissant, and even sweet smelling stroopwafels. Later they would be treated to bits and pieces of MMs, and we wondered whether the mice go wild from the sugar high. But an open door was no invitation to dinner, I realised, as the mice would not come out, even though I could hear them squeak and scurry behind the wooden boards. So I closed the doors and left them to be.

Moments later, a mouse came and stayed. It had somehow burrowed and fallen its way into a cupboard where the only way out was if it could climb up the vertical walls like Spidermouse. Effectively, it was trapped, and I could see it, sniffing away, chasing its own tail in confusion, perhaps unaware a pairs of eyes were watching.

I sneaked up on it, and swiftly covered the little mouse with the semi-transparent lunchbox turned up-side-down. Gottcha! The mouse sniffed the box, and hurried around it bumping its little head against all four sides. It even stood up and seemed to be trying to gnaw and scratch its way out. I tried to close the lid by sliding it under the box, but the mouse was smart, and squeezed its agile little body through the gap in that instant as I was trying to seal the lid. It leapt and ran, and vanished.

Disheartened, I closed the doors and hoped it would come out to play again. And it did, not long thereafter. Again, I repeated the procedure, and this time with help I used a thin board to slide under the box and cover it. We watched it as it leaned against the side of the box, eyes seemingly filled with sadness.

But when the path of man and mouse in house built for man cross, the mouse must yield. I wanted to push the mouse out the window, but was realised that it would be a painful and horrible death, which would have defeated the purpose of me catching them. The black beady eyes begged for mercy. In the end, I took the mouse out to a grassy area in front of the house, and released into the shrubs. It was drizzling, and the droplets kissed my skin as white fog escaped my lips with the words "Goodbye little mouse." Soon thereafter it would be joined by one of its darling sibling.

Legend has it that there was once a race between animals in all the land, and the Emperor announced he would classify the years according to the first twelve animals that arrived. The Rat crept into the ear of the Bull, and rode all the way to the finish line, only leaping forward to win at the very last moment. So it came to be that the Rat is first in the Chinese zodiac.

It may not be warm, or be filled with ample rice or dried fruits and pungent sweets and biscuits outside, but they will manage. They will manage, I know, because they ingenious, cunning, cute and ever so inventive creatures. They will find a way to live, because they have a strong will and sense of surivival.

That I know.

Storm

I cycled to work, but walked home. Almost as soon as I got to the office, it started to drizzle, then rain, then pour and storm. By the evening, the pavement in front of my office building was a puddle, and I had to jump and hop to avoid being splashed by showers of water coming from rushing cars.

Weekend already. Originally I had wanted to go for my 'Friday Night Swim', but because of the bad weather, I just decided to go into town and grab something to eat. I didn't feel like cooking... in fact, I don't feel like anything, except that I feel myself falling ill with a runny nose. Not good, and certainly not helpful to my already down mood these days.

I actually dreamt of my work yesterday, and sometimes even when I'm not at work, I feel my thoughts wander towards the things that are waiting to be down at work... The organisation is going well and according to plan, but the problem now is the money. So far we've only managed to raise around ten thousand, but need around 5 or 6 times that amount to make sure that it is success, and that we don't go into debt like last year. I feel like since I'm the main person, I'm responsible for the finances, and I really feel the pressure of having to make sure that the budget is sound.

But it's so hard to ask people for money, and even harder to get it! I've already tried mailing a number of law firms, but only three replied, and gave only a couple of hundred. Compared to the thousands of Euros we need, that's nothing. And other organisations that we have approached seem to be not interested, or at least, have not replied. Frustrating.... frustrating that you write to people, but they do not reply. The waiting is the most frustrating of all.

Besides this, or maybe because of this, I feel really disorientated and distracted lately. I feel like I'm losing touch with myself, losing that sense of inquisitiveness and that sense of inspiration that has carried me through all these years. And that too is frustrating, and there is not really anyone I can talk to about it...

The reason perhaps why I don't write as much these days, because my mind is a fuzzy mess, and I'm not sure what to write sometimes.

Except rambles like this one.

Change

We cook separate meals and eat at separate times. I used to cook for everyone, do the shopping and make sure there is enough food in the fridge. But why? I realise that is just foolish, because the other two who live with me don't care. So I stopped cooking, stopped doing any housework except clean up after myself, and started coming home just to have dinner and sleep, before I head out the next day. True, like my brother lamented once, I treat this place like a hotel. A hotel he seems to own and run. So more reason for me to treat it as such: a place I don't care much about, because it's occupied by him and his girlfriend, even though they should have long moved out.

And now there seems there will be some changes soon. My mum called my brother and told him (for the nth time) to move out. And this time it seems he'll actually do just that, because my mum wants to come to Europe and stay for a while to have some rest and take it easy. Just a week or so ago she started having complications with her bowels.... and it was where she was operated on to remove a cancerous section... When she was here back in September, I had encouraged her to take a break from her work, and now it seems she'll be doing that.

I guess there are a number of reasons. One is to make sure my brother moves out and stays out, and the other is for my mum to spend some time with me.... because frankly, she still can.

I've set in motion a number of things that will ultimately mean that the chances are high I'll be moving overseas very soon. This means, after almost 15 years of living in Europe, my time has come to an end here. Time to go somewhere else, more promising, and more accepting of people with a different skin colour. Europe has declined in the last few years, disappointingly become somewhat intolerant and xenophobic, and thereby with its decline taken away any of my plans of staying here. Shame, because I like the living environment, and every one that I know and have come to care about and love are here... but I just don't see a future here for me for some reason. So, time to move on to the next best alternative.

I don't want to 'jinx' anything, so I won't mention any details. A lot still depends on my applications for a study and also applications for a fully-paid scholarship... I sent all that out a few days ago, and as I was standing at the post office, and watching the documents being sent, I felt like that (could have been) was a life-changing moment... like it was my ticket out of this life and onto a freer and happier life elsewhere, away from the miseries with my brother, away from feeling like a 'stranger' a lot of the time even though I grew up living in this country.

We'll see. Whatever will be, will be.

"Der Hölle Rache kocht in meinem Herzen,
Tod und Verzweiflung flammet um mich her!
Fühlt nicht durch dich Sarastro Todesschmerzen,
So bist du meine Tochter nimmermehr.
Verstossen sei auf ewig,
Verlassen sei auf ewig,
Zertrümmert sei'n auf ewig
Alle Bande der Natur
Wenn nicht durch dich Sarastro wird erblassen!
Hört, Rachegötter, hört der Mutter Schwur!"

The vengeance of Hell boils in my heart,
Death and despair flame around me!
If Sarastro does not through you feel the pain of death,
Then you will be my daughter nevermore.
Disowned may you be forever,
Abandoned may you be forever,
Destroyed be forever
All the bonds of nature,
If not through you Sarastro becomes pale! (as death)
Hear, Gods of Revenge, hear a mother's oath!