UN jeep

(picture from http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/blog/blogimages/un-jeep.jpg)

They're remarkably easily recognisable... an open-top jeep painted pure white, with a bold black 'U' and an 'N' imprinted on its doors. And inside, brave soldiers peace-keepers with funny blue up-side down nests on their heads. You've seen them in buzzing busily to and fro in conflict zones, refugee camps and wherever or whenever the UN has gotten its act togther to act...

So I thought I was imagining things as I was strolling down my street this evening. At first I heard the rumbling of loud engines, and there it was... an UN jeep cruising lazily down my street. A vision in white, with two bright blue dots inside the vehicle, catching the eye. The soldiers

Surreal... bizzare... a precious photo moment, if only I had my camera with me at the time. Right here, in the middle of a peaceful neighbourhood where the only on-going conflict is between warring factions of cats, and where the only current humanitarian crisis seems to be water puddles here and there from the flood of rain, an UN jeep.

In my mind I could only think, if those blue-helmets were heading for Darfur, they still have a long, long way to go.

Horoscope today

Pisces: Step away from a problem that's been plaguing you lately. You just need some space, and some time. When you return to it, the solution will be there.

...not sure if this prophesy will come true, but I really feel lost and unmotivated to do anything at the moment... not work on thesis, not apply for jobs, nothing at all! : (

It's like I'm scared of working, and scared to do anything serious. And all I want is to sleep or walk around doing nothing at all!

...maybe if I step away, I'll be able to get closer soon.

At least I hope so.

"Everything will be alright..."

It continues to rain, while a storm blows across much of northern Europe, and flooding take away a number of lives. In the south, temperatures are reaching the forties, with some dying as a result. Such extremes!

Middle of another week, in a period of time when weeks seem to pass as quickly as days. Still feeling restless, depressed, and unmotivated to work, even though everyday I tell myself it’s a new day, and promise myself I to get some work done. At the same time, I’ve been having more and more bad dreams, mostly about family and my dad, who I haven’t spoken to for more than four months. Mostly the dreams involve a lot of shouting, and unpleasant arguments. I’d wake up miserable and feeling lost, and wanting to sleep some more, even though I had already slept more than my fair share.

I’d go to the beach a lot, alone. Or the forest. And just walk around, as if by walking around I’m not ‘staying still’ and shake all those feelings and thoughts out of me. Even if it’s in the rain I don’t mind at all. The other day I walked around for two hours while it poured and thundered loudly The forest floor was all muddy. I got my clothes completely wet and dirty, but it didn’t seem to matter at all.

Yesterday I had a long talk with mum on the phone. Deep heart to heart talk, about my fears, my anxieties and my mood at the moment. I told her how lost and at the same time how desperate and lacking any sort of enthusiasm I feel, being here at the end of my studies, and so very unsure what I want to do with my life…

She listened and encouraged me not to give up and not to despair, and reminded me that all this depression and being down, like all feeling good or bad, will all go away. She reminded me that I’ve never let her worry, and that I’ve always managed to pull through and excel to the best of my abilities, even though the process is hard and trying… Exactly the words and sentiments I needed. I smiled a bit, and as I hung up the phone, I silently thanked her… for being ‘there’, for being my mum.

If only there was someone close to tell me those words, and to hear my thoughts, and to give me a long hug and look me in the eye and say that “Everything will be alright…everything will be alright… ”

Parkpop- Kim Wilde!

It was drizzling, and the sky was drearily gray. I wrapped myself in a warm sweater and jacket, and even wondered whether I should take my scarf with me. It's June.

Was already wet from cycling all the way across town to Zuiderpark, where Parkpop ( supposedly the biggest free pop-music concert in Europe) took place. I could already hear the booming music as I parked my bike, and it got louder as I got closer to the muddy field where it all took place. It had been raining the whole day, and the terrain was almost deserted, it seemed. Just here and there, people sheltering under trees, wearing make-shift garbage bags as rain coats, and wielding all sorts of colourful umbrellas in the air.

The stage was deserted, and I disappointed. I was there, alone, having once again been abandoned by certain people who said they would come... Was it all finished? I kicked the empty plastic cups that lay everywhere in the over-trampled and muddy grass...

And suddenly, the stage lit up, and behind a wall of fake fog came the band and the star I had braved the cold and rain to see. There she was, with her recognisable crazy blonde curls, dressed in black. A slight, half-hearted applause from the sleepy crowd below, as the rain continued to fall.

Kim Wilde had a series of hits in the eighties, and recently, like many artists who seemed to have disappeared, made a come-back. Watching her sing and jump up and down, it's hard to believe she's already 47 years old! Still bursting with energy, her voice moved as well as excited the crowd in no time, as she sang her old hits in between the more recent hits that you still occassionally hear on the radio. The crowd jumped up and down, and at times clapped along. What really attracts me is that many of the songs and music are written by herself, and have lyrics that have meaning-- which is quite rare nowdays.

But in almost no time at all, the field started to fill with people from nowhere, as the night passed with songs like “Kids in America”, “Together we belong”, “Cambodia”, “Perfect girl”, “You keep me hanging on”, “Never trust a stranger”, “View from a bridge”, “You came” (the video clip of which is apparently censored in certain countries because it’s too ‘provocative’...), as well as the remake hit originally by German female popstar Nena “Anyplace, anywhere, anytime”:

Im Sturz durch Raum und Zeit, richtung Unentlichkeit
Fliegen Motten in das Licht, genau wie du und ich'
Wrap your fingers 'round my neck.
You don't speak my dialect,
But our images reflect.
Drawn together by the flame,
We are just the same:
Embrace the wind and fall into another time & space.

Gib mir die Hand - ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand
Irgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann'
If we belong to each other,
We belong anyplace, anywhere, anytime.

Im Sturtz durch Zeit und Raum, er wacht aus einem Traum'
Nur ein kurzer Augenblick, dann kehrt die Nacht zurueck.
Bits and pieces from your storm
Rain upon me as they fall;
Melt into my skin and I feel warm.
Sweep upon me like a wave.
We are young and brave:
Embrace the wind and float into another time & space.

Gib mir die Hand - ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand
Irgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann'
If we belong to each other,
We belong anyplace, anywhere, anytime.

Drawn together by the flame,
We are just the same:
Embrace the wind and fall into another time & space.

If we belong to each other,
We belong anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
I'm going to any world you're coming from.
Anyplace, anywhere, anytime.
Gib mir die Hand - ich bau dir ein Schloss aus Sand
Irgendwie, irgendwo, irgendwann'
I'm going to any world you're coming from.
Anyplace, anywhere, anytime

And she did a great rendition of Depeche Mode’s great classic “Enjoy the silence”:

“Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little world
Painful to me
Pierce right through me
Cant you understand
Oh my little girl

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm

Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable

All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my arms
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm”

Beautiful!