I was embarrassed to be in the room, and said I would leave, even when they told me not to. I wanted to give the sisters time to bond and reminisce, time to talk and catch up. I imagine them once as little girls who grew up in a small town, who did everything together, who have gone through so much together growing up. How they must be feel now they have grown old(er), now that they have led such separate lives leaving home, how having raised different families and watched their children leave home to come together in one room years and years later as one of them is slowly, slowly leaving...
When my second aunt first came into the room her eyes were a bit moist and red. Perhaps mum third aunt had told her pretty much everything. But nothing can prepare you for the real image, for the reality of seeing someone you grew up with lie there in a foetal position looking so sick, looking so thin, looking so frail... I stood around a little, and watched as they interacted and chatted. There was an extremely touching scene as my aunts sat around mum's hospital bed, while I sat next to her on her bed and massaged her feet. The distance between their hometown of Chiayi and Taipei is only about two hundred or so km, and yet typical of Taiwanese warmth and hospitality, all the more because we are family, there were a lot of "greeting gifts". My second aunt unpacked her suitcase (yes, a suitcase full!) of goodies, including fresh guavas, wax apples, egg rolls, cookies, and plums from their hometown. It really weren't the goodies that mattered, for all these things you could buy in the big city. But the thought, the thought that my aunt thought of bringing all the things that mum likes to eat, was touching to the heart.
"You didn't have to come so far..." mum said at one point weakly, "You must taken such an early train to get here..." My second aunt just smiled. I quickly joked: "Just shows how important you are!" which made everyone agree with laughter.
Later, they were joined by mum's oldest brother, who is staying in a ward right on the same floor, and also by mum's second (step)brother, who dropped by for a visit. Mum's youngest brother visited yesterday already, and he stayed for quite a number of hours. for out of the siblings, they seem to have the closest relationship.
So over two days the family has come from all over the place to rally around mum, to encourage her, to tell her to open up and not think too much. I have spoken to everyone, at times needing to fill in on the bits of information that mum may not be too willing to talk about or think about. I know it all is very heavy on everyone, but I try to tell it as calmly and clearly as I can, I try to tell them things are the way they are.
And I thank them, thank them again and again, for all the time and effort they put in to come and see mum, even though they 'chastise' me for thanking them for all the help they offer in so many ways. I know they are family, closer in some ways and in different ways that I cannot imagine, for they shared with mum a part of her life when I was not even around.
But I am still so ever grateful for their care, for showing mum their care and love, for being there to make her feel less alone, to make her feel that her life, what was, what is, and what will be, is worth every breath, is worth every day, every moment she is still with us...
