Even just from standing up, I get very dizzy these days. So dizzy for an instance or two I "black out" and can't see a thing until the blood rushes to my eyes. It can be very dangerous, something I warm mum must be wary of when she stands up from lying down for too long. But I myself must heed the warning too, because I can easily black out and faint and hit something, which could prove fatal...
I've had this "black out" problem before, and I suspect it's related to my weak heart (a medical condition I like to call: brokenaraus heartus). My heart pumps very slowly and sometimes can't get enough blood to parts of the body in time, made worse as I'm somewhat tall and skinny.
But my diet has also suffered a lot these days, especially since mum began vomiting. Rather than cook and eat more health-consciously in, for the sake of convenience and also to avoid munching in front of mum (who sadly can't eat...), I go out for almost every single meal. Normally I have a soup noodle with some vegetables, sometimes rice with some small side dishes. But recently just been craving for fried (read: unhealthy!) foods like burgers and fried chicken. For some reason my (semi-)vegetarianism has increasingly gone out the window as I deal with the extremely stressful and demanding situation with mum's decline...
So I've not been having the most balanced of diets, which may aggravate my low blood pressure. The poor quality sleep and accumulated exhaustion just adds to the causes of my dizziness (and also stomach cramps, but that is another story...)
I try to take care of myself, as much as I can. But really, I dare anyone to find themselves in a situation I am in now and still have an appetite to eat, and still have an appetite for good quality sleep.
I know, I know, I am pushing the limit and in the long run will make myself ill, which will do no good to anyone. But I am trying, really trying to take care of another and trying not to forget to take care of myself.
No comments:
Post a Comment