NJ

I thought I heard wrong when my aunts told me after I came back from a two hour rest at home in the afternoon. "They'll have to insert a tube into her," they said. I immediately thought of patients who are close to the end of life, and who must have a tube inserted into their noses to ensure feeding and to sustain life. It was a terrible image, and I could not imagine mum like that...

The doctor came the next morning, and briefly explained the details. Mum, as ever, was hesitant to ask questions, so I asked most of the questions. The blockage in the small intestines is such that operation will be a difficult task. And the operation  may not be worth it on balance of the risks and benefits to be derived. The doctor did not mention it, but hinted that the cancer may be already too advanced that if you are to operate and create a bypass, it may fail as soon as the cancer spreads and grows. So the best option is a socalled "NJ tube" to solve mum's inability to eat. It is the most pressing problem that must be solved, for being unable to eat is draining her remaining sources of energy.

I later did some research of my own online, and the NJ tube is inserted through the nose and pushed deep, deep inside into a section of the intestines called jujenum, hence the name nasojujenum (NJ) tube (nose to the jujenum). "Food", only in liquid form and cannot be too thick of have any bits inside, must be pushed through the tube with a syringe of some sorts, and the 'food' will directly enter the small intestines to be absorbed.

It is  a very sickening idea for some reason, and I am not happy with the solution. But it is the best solution, and for now the only solution. The alternative is to let mum waste away and deplete her reserves, of which there may not be much left...

"Where's the dignity in this...?" mum kept on asking. It was a rhetorical question, but despite the doctor's assurance that there are many who are fed through this method, mum seems very distraught by the idea that for the rest of her natural life she may have to walk around with a tube hanging out of one of her nostrils... How this will impact her already shattered confidence! How this will cause her to withdraw even more and be even less willing to meet people and friends!

Indeed, where is the dignity is that?