Bath

As soon as the nurse and volunteer wheeled mum to the bathroom, I quickly took off the old bedsheets and started to change the sheets and make her bed. The volunteer came back in and seemed amazed I was doing this. "You should come volunteer here! You do this so well!"

Moments later, in the bathroom, I began to wash mum's face and shampoo her hair. Again the same volunteer complimented me: "Where did you get a son like this? What did you teach him to be like this? It's so touching to see how attentive he is. It's even better than having a daughter!" The nurse agreed and said things to that effect too.

Mum smiled gently and didn't say anything. I didn't say anything either, and just kept soaping mum's face and giving her a scrub. But deep down inside I felt that comment was somewhat unfair.  And there have been occasions when mum would say: "Before he was born, I wanted a girl and bought everything pink thinking it would be a girl!" To which often these aunties would say: "He's better than a girl! He's like having two girls!"

I've heard it all before, compliments like these, but it always stings when people imply that only girls can be attentive and caring. I am a boy, and (without tooting my own horn) I am by nature caring and attentive. These are natures not reserved for a girl, for these are simply human natures that any person, boy or girl, can possess, just as a person can be mean and ill-minded (I can be too!) When people make comments like those above, they seem to imply girls are the more caring gender, whereas all boys are callous and uncaring and unfeeling. But I am sure there are plenty of other boys who would do what I do, perhaps even more, to make their parents happy and comfortable. Though special, I am certain there are other boys who would help bathe their own mother when they have become ill and infirm.




I kept on washing mum's body, rubbing off the accumulation of dead skin, and massage her head to make her feel at ease and comfortable. "It's just as it should be..."

Nothing more, nothing less.