Paying respects

It's not quiet the funeral, but Taiwanese tradition prescribes that before the final farewell, relatives and friends are supposed to visit the home of the deceased and pay respects at an altar dedicated to the one who has passed. (In the olden days, they would keep the body inside the home till the day of the funeral and people can come and take a "look", but nowarsays the body is usually sent to the morgue.)

I could not head down to the south as planned, as mum's daytime carer fell ill, so I had to fill in (I've been in hospital 31 hours...). And besides, as I'm not the older son, I do not necessarily have to go, for brother can represent our family by burning an incense on our behalf.

I spoke to my brother before he left, and told him a bit about the etiquettes and do's and don'ts. As death is considered an inauspicious event, those attending events like a paying respects ceremony or funeral are thought to carry "negative" qi (energies) when they leave, so must be cleansed.

"Remember to get a few "fu" 符," I told him, referring to little pieces of paper with scribbles of text on them written by priests or monks that are supposed to ward off evil spirits. The tradition is that you take some "Fu" away and once you get home, you burn the pieces of paper, put the burnt bits of paper inside a bowl with water, salt and grains of rice. And with that water, which has been "blessed", you spray around the house to cleanse the house and yourself of any bad spirits or energies that you may have "contracted" while attending a "sad" event.

My brother didn't want to listen, and he got irritated. "I don't know what you're saying! I don't understand!" But i was trying to explain the whole tradition to him. He rudely just told me to speak to his wife and passed the phone to her. He has never really been a fan of traditions, like most young people these days, and especially being away from the country, my brother is really lost when it comes to rites and rituals. Talk about being whitewashed... on the other hand have always taken a keen interest in following traditions, and find it all such a fascinating part of who I am and where I come from.

She understood exactly what I was saying, and said she also made preparations to ward off bad energies. I reiterated how important it is, wether it's superstition or not, we grew up in this culture, in this society that is heavily Influences by believes of spirits and ghosts, good and evil energies. It doesn't harm anyone to take some precautions, even if there is no basis in science or proof that these things exist (or not!) Besides, with a little baby in the house ( my nephew) and with mum being so weak physically and spiritually , it's really best not to be too lax about observing these beliefs (or superstitions, whatever you wish to call them...)