Disappointing?

I got a phone call from my aunt asking about how long my brother was at the hospital yesterday. Why is that an issue? Mum said he only visited briefly, and left in the evening, whereas I stayed the night to be with her. Why is this even an issue?

Because mum and my aunt feel my brother and my sister-in-law should be doing more. Now that they are back, they should relieve me and give me time to rest and time to study or do what I would like to do. I feared that there would be grumblings, as even before they returned, mum on several occasions scoffed at the fact that they are coming back to "take care of her". She scoffed, because in the past, they did very little for her or to make her comfortable when she visited them in Europe. So she is not really receptive of the fact that they have come back here, even though I told her that she must give them a chance. "Do you want [brother] to live the rest of his life with regret?" I told her many times. Meaning, if he never had the chance to spend time with her and 'take care' of her, then he may feel such pain and regret should mum pass away.

I stayed behind last night because brother just returned from Europe and is still suffering jetlag. In a few days, when he is better, he can spend some nights at the hospital if it is necessary. Besides, he has a kid to take care of, so people really cannot expect everything  of him. 

In the coming days, I will slowly back off from caretaking and allow my brother and sister-in-law to take over. I told mum already not to expect anything, and not to compare. Without sounding pompous or anything, I know I do a lot for mum and a lot of what I do brother probably is not sensitive or caring enough to do. But I told mum that does not matter. We are different people, and he care show his care and affection in his own way. There are things that he can give mum that I cannot. "He gave you a grandchild. Look at the way you smile when you see your grandchild!" I know I cannot give mum that, at least not immediately. But my brother can give her that, and that is his greatest contribution.

So today when they brought food to the hospital for lunch, I stayed home. I do not need to be there. They can go and figure things out for themselves, and hopefully dispel talk of being useless and disappointing. They need their time alone. And I need time alone too...