I do not lament my fate, I do not complain what I need to do. I massage mum's back, I rub her shoulders with a gentle smile, and as I do it I wish and hope that the pain she feels will be reduced and that she can sleep well. I take her to the washroom, I "sniff" her to see if she's wet herself (or worse...) because she is my mother, and whatever condition she is in, she deserves to live life comfortably, with dignity and be clean.
One day, I will need to let all of this go. One day, I must learn to turn my back on all this, and let someone else take over. Turning my back on mum does not mean I do not care anymore.
Because I do care, I do care so much because I wish her the best and I wish her to be comfortable and free from suffering. But I have things I must accomplish, I have goals I must pursue, and I must do them for myself, I must do them for mum to see that I can live on my own, and I can take care of myself no matter what.
Sleep, mum, sleep... I'm here only a few steps from you whenever you need me, I'm here for whatever you need, and all you need to do is call my name.
But you and I know one day, I will have to go away, and I hope you will not be too sad. You need only call my name, and I'll be back again.
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