48 hours

I left the hospital, close to 48 hours since I last entered it. My head and body were itchy, as I've not showered in the same amount of time. But I was surprisingly not too tired. Perhaps because I "napped" till almost noon today, after going to sleep at close to two. Or perhaps the fatigue is yet to come when I collapse onto bed...

Seems I've entered a sort of routine of studying late at night after I've put mum to sleep. I don't really get much studying done, for before long it's already past one or two in the morning, which means I'll be woken up in a few hours by the doctors around seven when they conduct routine room checks. And every hour or so, the night nurse would come in and see me sit at the dressing table studying. In the few hours I do sit done to read, I can concentrate pretty well. Though there is so much material to cover, and it is extremely daunting to have to cover everything from scratch and through self-study in the next three weeks, at times I turn back and see mum lie there, I am reminded of the reasons why I am studying, why I must work hard:

yes, it's for myself in the end, but a large reason why I eagerly would like to sit this upcoming exam is for mum! To make her proud! To demonstrate to her that despite distractions and adverse circumstances, I (hopefully...) still can succeed what I set my mind to do. And hopefully, when she sees me do what I have to do, and go after my plans and dreams, she can feel at ease, and feel a semblance of comfort and happiness... It is my hope that that little bit of comfort and happiness can rub away a bit of the pain and discomforts she feels on a daily basis...