Instant noodles

Brother returned this afternoon after being gone for three days. It was a sort of self-imposed quarantine, for he and his entire family fell seriously ill, and they were afraid of contaminating mum-- which in her fragile state of health would be devastating.

Brother said he was knocked out for several days, and slept almost all the time. Though he seems to better, my sister-in-law got worse, and my nephew has not been hopping and jumping around like the little energetic rabbit he normally is.

My brother dropped by the hospital and it was rare that only the three of us (original members of the family...) were together in one room. We chatted a bit, and it was then brother expressed a concern.

"You've been eating instant noodles," he said, "You know how it hurt me to hear that?" He heard from his wife, who I suspect saw wrapping in the bin a few days ago.

It's true, I've been eating instant noodles over the past two weeks, but only three times, and that's it. I rarely touch the stuff, but I've just been so tired of eating out and tired of eating more or less the same things every single meal every single day, the "next best alternative" seemed to be instant noodles. I know it's terrible food, but I do add egg and tofu and veggies when I cook it (if it makes it better...)

What was telling was my brother showing a rare sign of how he cares. He said I should eat better, like so many people, and that just because mum can't eat well, doesn't mean I have to be like her.

It's easier to say... But really I've lost a lot of appetite (but not much weight, luckily...) just from fatigue and stress, from the depression and deep sense of loneliness, that nowadays I just want to fill my stomach. And it's so hard to eat by myself, so I tend to eat out and eat very quickly.

It's so unlike me, for normally I place a lot of importance on food. But these are desperate, desperate times... And my eating habits are very disturbed, and made worse with bad stomach cramps I occasionally get from worry and stress...