Severe depression

I don't know what's wrong with me today. I feel so tired, and have been sleeping or "napping" for most of the day. It was the first day that I did not visit mum at the hospital, for since yesterday mum decided to hire a 24hr carer. She said I should rest and focus on studying, because there is not much time for me left...

But I cannot focus. My mind is so distracted. It took me almost two hours to read and make notes on 10 pages! I keep on thinking "I'm abandoning mum..." I keep on wondering if she really is "fine" as she says she is... I feel guilty for not being there and spending time with her, especially after these few months when I've almost constantly been at her side...

I keep on thinking about her, about what to bring her to eat. Brother doesn't seem to concerned much, and just says mum can eat whatever we buy from outside... But that's the thing, mum can't just eat any odd thing. She has to eat more healthy things to regain her strength, she needs to eat low residue and low grease foods in order for her to digest.

Maybe I'm overburdening myself with responsibility. I must learn to let go, learn to lessen my load and give other people the chance to take care of mum, and just accept that it will be ok what they do.

Because how else am I supposed to leave here in peace and with peace of mind if I cannot let go and let other people take over?