NG

It was close to one in the morning. The nurse came back with the night shift doctor after I called her and told her about mum's latest vomiting session. Half a bag-ful of stomach juices. The doctor estimates it is about 300ml. Third time since around eight at night, sixth time Since the start of day. The latest time, Mum just kept on vomiting, vomiting, vomiting for around a minute. My heart kept on breaking, breaking, breaking...

The doctor suggested Inserting a tube to extract excess stomach fluids. Not the NJ proposed earlier, but an NG tube, nasogastric tube, which extends to the stomach and either with the aid of gravity or with the aid a pump can draw out excess fluids that otherwise would come out through the oesophagus and the mouth.

"No, no, I don't want [to] insert the tube! No... Too painful..."

Mum's answer was clear, and the nurse and doctor both agreed it may be uncomfortable and "in the way". Of course it would be! something is going through your nostril and down into the stomach! "But it's what I recommend if you keep on vomiting," the doctor said.

Mum looked so drained, so tormented by her body and the uncontrollable vomiting that has disturbed her sleep for so many nights and seems to e getting worse every night. She was curled up again in a foetal position that even for me, being very flexible and soft-boned, looks very uncomfortable. She was displaying a sign of helplessness, of fear, of dread, as if she wanted to be shielded away from everything that hurts, everything that causes her more suffering, more pain!

I recommended her to sit up and try to sleep on a chair, so that perhaps the stomach fluids won't so easily flow up and escape through the mouth.

I held her hands and massaged them... Silently, I hoped and prayed as I held her hands, her pain, her suffering could be temporarily relieved...