Reading her email brought tears to my eyes. In her words of desperation, in her sentences full of worry and anxiety, I could see myself, I could feel, so raw, so painful, the hurt of being so powerless, so utterly powerless, when you are watching a loved one slowly, slowly fade away...]
My friend lives across the ocean, in a different time zone, in a different place, in a different life. And yet, her pain resembles that of mine, her feelings of being torn between living a life of your own and being there to support your mother in times of need, echo that of my own.
I of course cannot know exactly what is going through my friend's mind, what emotions are racing through her heart and gripping her senses.
I cannot know how weak and distraught and lonely she must feel upon hearing that her mum's health has taken a turn for the worse.
What does it feel to hear from your own mother that she thinks she may not survive for much longer? What does trauma does it do to a child to see your beloved mother become a sack of skin and bone, with a belly bloated with fluids?
I am not sure what words of consolation I can offer my friend.... what could I possibly write, what could I possibly say, even if I were the most eloquent person who can so masterfully juggle words and emotions, to soothe the pain and creeping loss of a child...?
Am I not someone who often feels that pain and creeping sense of loss when I hear the weakness and frailty of my own mum's voice...?
What can I offer her, but my deepest sympathies, my well-wishes... and my tears?
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