Two days ago, I received an email from a friend, someone I've known for a couple of years, and with whom I communicate from time to time. Though we're in different countries, each doing our own thing, one aspect of our life is so invariably tied together, and that is our love and worry for our mothers.
In the latest email, she said her mother is suffering intolerable pain, and has lost all appetite. It hurts even for her to walk, my friend said, and being away from her mother, my friend is so often filled with guilt.
It pains me to read about her mother, what she is going through, and just to imagine the worry and stress that my friend experiences on a day to day, or perhaps moment to moment, basis. I write back, comforting her, assuring her, try to give my friend the comfort and care she needs, and deserves. but I wish there were much more I could do to take her pain, and the pains of her mother, away...
Maybe this is what brings us two together. This deep deep understanding, this ability not to feel like you are burdening someone (or at times talking to a brick wall) when you pour out your feelings about how much seeing our mothers in pain and slowly slip away is maybe what connects us. Maybe more than anyone, we can (almost) fully understand, we can fully empathise what the other person is going through. Other people may be able to offer words of sympathy, a hug or a pat on the shoulder, but unless you have seen and experienced your loved slowly have their mental and physical strength and will to live eaten away by a terrible terrible disease, you can never really know, can never really understand- however well intentioned the person is...
My feelings and my heart go out to you, my friend....
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