Tribute

The other day, I sat in my kitchen and quietly sipped my cup of tea. Chamomille with a dab of maple syrup. As I drank it, I thought of a lady I never knew, but even so, I smiled at the thought.

It may seem so strange, but a friend of mine contacted me recently and said that that very day would be her mother's first birthday after her  death late last year. She said she would not  be sad and would  not be crying. Instead, my friend said she would make her usual cup of morning coffee and toast to her mother, to the "grande dame" who she was. She asked if I could do the same, even though it may seem so "silly"...

I was honoured that she would even ask me to commemorate her, and of course I did exactly that   without any second thoughts. I wrote back to her, and sent her a picture of my steaming cup of tea. "Of course it is not 'silly'" I wrote to her. I also do the same every year, at different times of the year when I commemorate my dad's life. Little rituals, like writing to him, burning a packet of cigarettes or cooking his favourite dishes, offer not only comfort to the living, but also comfort to those who have already gone, I believe. "Silly" little rituals and actions remind us, and our loved ones, that they are and always will be a part of our lives...

As I sat and drank my tea, I was warmed inside by imaginations of what my friend's mother  looked like, what she sounded and smelled like. My thoughts drifted to Carmen, who passed away this time last year, and I felt terribly guilty that being so consumed with my own life, I forgot to commemorate her passing or even write to her daughter, which I had been meaning to do.... My mind drifted also to the mother of another friend, whose mother has been in and out of hospital for a number of years, battling a seemingly formidable cancer...  And my mind drifted to my own mother, to how I would commemorate her when she is gone...

Sometimes when you slow down to think of your own life, and the lives of others, many things in this world do not seem to matter much any more.