Radiotherapy

Mum sounded distracted when I called, and she broke the news that the hospital called her to start radiotherapy as soon as tomorrow afternoon. Just last week, she went in to make a mould of her neck and head to facilitate the targeted, localised treatment of the tumour in her spine.

"Tomorrow....? Tomorrow already?" I was surprised and began to shiver. What will happen? What side-effects will she experience? How will she cope with the new treatment all by herself? Twelve days of treatment, day after day, day after day... I'm so scared just hearing that, so terrified...

She said she'll be fine, and that's it's nothing to worry about. An online search of the term radiotherapy brings up words like long term fatigue, constant dryness of the mouth and throat, and nausea. And if it is in the neck area, it may affect swallowing, and in turn ability and the appetite to eat- further endangering mum's health when her White blood cell count is already very low.

"I have a ticket to return this week..." I said. I've been dragging my feet for a while, wondering about whether to make changes to it, or whether to pack my bags and fly off again. To be honest I really don't want to leave, I really am so tired of travelling, of being displaced again and again....

But I am so very scared, so very very frightened by the possibility that if I stay here and if something goes horribly wrong, I will regret it.