New drugs

The new chemo drug is actually not new, but one that she used a couple of months ago, just before she traveled to Canada. It was effective in reducing her cancer index, but because she stopped the treatment, it's not certain whether the drug will be as effective. All drugs lose their effectiveness after a while, as cancer cells are strong and stubborn, and can adapt to the drugs to become resistant. Plus, last time mum had that chemo drug, she combined it with radiotherapy. Perhaps the effectiveness was enhanced back then.

Five months later, mum's back to the same drug, a very expensive treatment she now knows. Whereas before the national health insurance would cover everything, because mum interrupted the treatment she is no longer entitled to it for free. To pay for it privately, each session costs upwards of two  thousand dollars, and a whole treatment consists of six to eight sessions, one every two weeks. As much as it costs, if it works, then we can only try, and keep on trying...

Keep on trying...

Mum says after the session yesterday she did feel less pain in her arm and in her neck. And for a day or so, it was not necessary to take painkillers. But the side-effects are still there... Poor sleep on the first, gradual loss of appetite, and feeling lethargic and weak for several days afterwards... The side effects will only accumulate and worsen as mum continues with the treatment.

I call her nowadays, at least once a day, usually in my morning and her nighttime. I just listen to her describe her day, and I'd ask her what she ate and whether she went out to exercise. I'm calmer I feel, or at least less anxious when I'm speaking to her on the phone. And she reassures me that things are alright. I can only take her word for it, and hope that she really is alright.

And I hope not just alright, but that she's free from pain and free from mental anguish...