Seventh day

The seventh day after passing is a crucial milestone. Tradition says the deceased comes back to bid farewell to those left behind and to take a good look at where the home where the deceased used to reside in. As the day of passing counts as the first day, and as according to the lunar calendar, a new day begins at eleven at night, tonight we will cross over to the seventh day.

A two hour chanting session is planned for tonight from nine till eleven. The chanting of (Mahayana) Buddhist prayers can aid mum on her way toward freeing herself from wandering around the world. It is supposed to help her move on to the world hereafter. It's also believed the chanting will give merit to the deceased, those left behind chant to the deity of the underworld to help guide mum on her way toward liberation...

Many relatives came today, as did several of mum's colleagues from her last work place close to the seaside. The colleagues found put yesterday when I called one of mum's closest friends. She broke down during re conversation and had to hang up and call back later to collect herself. They used to chat regularly, and mum helped his auntie a lot. While mum worked there, she used to buy car food to feed the strays in the back of the office. Yes, my mum was a cat lover, and a compassionate person. Once one of the strays was injured, and mum arranged to take it to the vet. Another time, a mother gave birth to a litter of kittens, and mum helped to have them vaccinated. This auntie took over the feeding and taking care of the cats.

Many on dad's side of the family came today, and they sat around for a while looking at pictures of mum. My big aunt (dad's oldest sister) at one point cried and said that mum was so kind and that mum went "too soon". I told them, as I tell everyone who comes to visit, how peacefully mum left, and how her life was one well lived. I told them that all with a smile. Seeing pictures of mum and I on one of our many adventures does not make me sad or emotional (not yet?) When I see mum on pictures, when I see her smile, an at times at my insistence, strike a "cute pose" with one of my stuffed animals, I cannot but smile and recall sweet, sweet times we had...

I am tired still, and have barely had time to really mourn. My brother seems to be in such a hurry to deal with affairs, which at times irritates me. There's no hurry, but he seems eager to get all the legal stuff and paperwork done. Maybe it is an attempt to jeep busy so as not to feel or cry? I don't know. I just feel it's all so soon, for it's barely been a week, and between planning for the funeral, informing relatives and friends, and entertaining visitors, we've not really had time to sit down and collect ourselves.

I still have yet to write down what happened, what really happened, that day...