Ceremony

To be honest, often I did not know what was being chanted. I'm not sure anyone knows. The text is a collection of words that make a symphony of sounds, sometimes high, sometimes low, sometimes touching, sometimes invigorating. The chanting is supposed to welcome the spirit home and guide the spirit to a finer place beyond this realm. And the ceremony master said mum is home.

The ritual of tou-chi took place tonight, and we concluded a little after eleven, which is symbolically the beginning of the seventh day after passing. Looking back at dad's passing four years ago, I realised there is one similarity: both with dad and mum today, we went to the household registration office (city hall if you like) to have the person officially registered as no longer living.

The funeral planner came by again and explained to us the details of the funeral next Friday, and gave us a breakdown of the costs. I explained to him the little personal touches I want to include during the ceremony, and he said it will not be a problem. It is not, I hope, going to be a sad event. With a slideshow of pictures and notes left behind by people, it is going to be a review of a colourful life well lived by a person who touched many hearts. Especially mine.

The ceremony was a little delayed, because initially we could not begin right away. We had to wait for mum's spirit to return, which we could know by posing questions and looking for signs by tossing coins (the ritual is explained here...). For a while, mum did not return, and then we thought of why. We were only my brother, my sister-in-law and I, and my nephew stayed away at a hotel, for it is way past his bedtime. We explained to mum why my nephew stayed away, and immediately there was a sign that she was present, an that we could begin.

We chanted for over an hour, from various sutras. I followed the text, but my eyes kept on wandering to the digital photo-frame I had prepared and loaded with pictures of mum. Seeing her pictures make me smile, and various times, as the three ladies who came to chant were deep in chanting mode, I had to contain my smile and try to keep a serious face. Seeing mum in various poses, at various locations on so many pictures, each with its own story and anecdotes, made me smile and feel so blessed...

At the closing of the ceremony tonight, we were asked to kneel and bow on the floor as a sign of deep reverence and reflection. Again, I wished mum happiness in the hereafter, happiness and peace, calm and liberation. I told her in my heart that she can go in peace and that I will be alright. I know I will be, because I am her child. I know I will be, because I have her watching over me.