He was calling me, my friend, calling me from London (I don't know how i knew, i just did). Calling to say hello, calling to ask how I'm doing. I was silent, answering only what was necessary so as not to be rude. But I was in no mood to talk. At least not to him.
He sounded cheerful, he was smiling, laughing even. He told me how much fun he was having, and he wasn't alone by himself.
It was at that point that I burst out in tears. I was so distraught, so tormented by his voice. Why was he asking and being concerned about my well-being when he knew I was broken and longing for companionship? And he had the nerve
"Why are you hurting me so...? Why...?" I cried and shouted down the telephone.
It was at that point I woke up from what I realised was a nightmare.
I looked around and found myself in my own bed, lying next to my friend who was fast asleep...
I shuddered and felt so alone lying next to him, knowing fully he has the ability to hurt me again and again. Not by choice, not willingly, because he cares about me, he genuinely does. But he has that ability, and I feel I'm putting myself in a position to be hurt.
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