One (more) day

After the movie I turned to my friend and kissed him on the cheeks. He returned the gesture with a kiss on his fingers and placed them on my neck. Was it because he was uncomfortable, feeling awkward about kissing in front of a cinema of people? Or was he just uncomfortable, feeling awkward to kiss me, period? I don't know. I know I gave him that kiss and meant it.

I invited him to the movie, partly because the last time we watched something it had been a terribly long and growling film, and I wanted to make it up in a way. I had mentioned the movie to him earlier, when I first saw the ad. Two people,  in the middle of the street, in the middle of what seems like a long, intense and passionate kiss. The French title is "Vingt ans" ( Twenty Years), the English one is "One day".

I had guessed what the movie was generally about before going, but it was in no way predictable. I wanted to go alone at first, but the movie seemed something  "perfect" for us to watch, especially because (or despite?) of our break up. And I was glad he came in the end.

Two people meet in university, have a passionate night together, and they keep in touch. The movie moves forward with scenes from 15 July of (almost) every year that passes by over the span of some twenty (?) years- the date of their first night spent together.

 We see how their lives progress or descend into chaos, see how they lives diverge and change, how their personalities and feelings for one another wane and change. Many things in life change, people come and go, people move around, people grow older, and perhaps more bitter and cynical, and people realise what is really important to them an to their lives, realise what or who it is that makes them happy, genuinely happy. Though feelings for one another may change, the deep connection and emotional bond that was somehow forged, even so long ago, still was alive and passionate.

Throughout  the years the two manage to stay friends, or delude themselves that they are mere friends. They talk often, and write long letters to one another. When one is having a crisis, the other person is the first person who comes to mind and who is contacted.

 After so many years, and numerous failed relationships, the two meet again and realise they are meant for one another. They stay together, promise each other to be true, to not let anything stand in their way again. Both are older now, with graying hair, and both may have lost that vitality and carefreeness of their youth, but the emotional connection, the physical attraction and  unexplainable depth of connection between their hearts and minds has remained constant, and perhaps grew even stronger.

But happiness, genuine happiness, does not, and never does, last forever. However deep the devotion, however precious the relationship,  somehow, sometime one person leaves first. All too abruptly perhaps, and in ways beyond our control. And as for the main characters, the period of time it took them to finally get together was too long, and the time they were together was much too short.

The movie touched me, and personally spoke to me. It made me cry, partly because the mother of one of the characters is taken away by cancer, leaving behind a lonely husband and son who was never really able to reconcile with how he behaved as she became weaker and weaker. One particular scene, when the son had to carry his frail, pale-looking mother up the stairs, left a lump in my throat. I swallowed deep, swallowing away most of my tears and the pangs of pain.

The movie touched me too, because I find myself in a similar situation, a tragedy even, with my ex.  We both know (at least I think so...) deep down how much we mean to one another. We both reminisce how beautiful, how compatible we were when we were together. But because of circumstances beyond our control, undesired even, we simply cannot be.

The movie also left on me, and echoed, this glimmer of hope that perhaps, perhaps, if we are meant to be, we may still meet again and come together somewhere down our lives. But it also left that question, that annoying little rhetoric of why wait?  Why torture the hearts and lives of two people who deep down knowingly feel so strongly for one another any longer? For what? Happiness, genuine love and the beauty of two people meeting and falling in love, should be treasured and held onto, for as long as you can, whenever you can.

After the movie I turned to kiss my friend on the cheek. We walked quietly away, and I reflected on the movie somewhat as my salty tears dried on the corners of my eyes and cheeks. 


Maybe one day we will wake up from this all, and live, and love, and be happy, truly happy.