Hospital visit

It started a few days ago, when a friend (and former flatmate) was admitted into the hospital. Ever since she moved out, we've not had much contact but are on friendly terms.

I wrote her a message hoping her a speedy recovery and let her know that if she needs anything I can help.

Yesterday, after a series of tests, she was admitted into the emergency ward. I just finished watching a movie with my friend, and she had asked to have contact lens solution delivered. This was minutes before midnight, closing time, so I ran and ran and was so out of breath by the time I arrived, and was lucky enough to have a minute to spare before they announced the pharmacy was closing. I picked up what she needed and a little card with flowers. Not much choice, but it had orchids on the front, her favourite. And quickly, briefly I scribbled a little message inside.

Originally I didn't want to go visit her, but accompanied my friend anyways. She looked so pale and frail when I saw her, and she was shivering. From the cold, or from fear? I wasn't sure. I hugged her and told her again if she needs anything.... she needed to be in hospital for observation and more tests. More tests and waiting...

It was already after midnight, yet the emergency ward was busy. A young girl in tears wiped her eyes as a nurse spoke to her quietly. A few were asleep in armchairs, a lady had red, red eyes, moist from tears. A man sat forlorn and looked out the window. And elderly man, unshaven, with a wrinkled face and pale, pale hair sat up on his hospital bed and reached his arm out, as if in need, as wanting help or company.

 They were all waiting, waiting... Just waiting, for how long already I don't know. For how much  longer perhaps they don't know either. Strangers brought together in a bright  place that smells of medicine in the middle of the night   The tv was silent, but showed a late night talk show,  the host of which made funny faces and was surrounded by colourful, big captions.

I found myself surrounded by patients, and reminded of the drab and dreariness of hospitals. It was a reason why I was hesitant to go inside and would have preferred to stay by the door.

In truth, I did not want to see patients lying around with tubes attached to their arms... I did not want to see the sadness, the tears and hurt of family and relatives and witness unnecessarily the fragility of health and being human. It reminds me too much of... Of what I don't want to be reminded of.

I went out to buy something for my friend, who had not eaten much for the day. I ran and ran up and down the steep hill leading to the hospital. Despite the running and the sweat running down my cheeks,  for some reason I smiled. Not at the situation, but what little I could do to make the situation a little better, just a little better. Even if it's just  getting a small slice of pizza in the middle of the night,  or giving my friend a little card or warm hug... A little gesture says a lot.

Once again, it is what I do "best", what allows me to shine and show care and compassion. Not to boost my own ego, but to let people around me be touched in little ways.

 And I like that.