Last year

I closed my eyes and tried to rest my tired body and mind. And out of nowhere appeared the memory... One year ago, mum lying next to me, days after her spinal surgery.
http://alternativeformosa.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html?m=1
The rush home. The anxiety and agony and fear of losing her. Hearing her groan at night from the wound around her neck. Helping her with a bedpan. Holding her hand and telling her to be strong, pretending myself I was strong for her. Sleeping rough at the hospital all those nights... That was a year ago, but the memory made it so real again, made me cry uncontrollably.

Mum, I miss you so...
I hope I have taken care of you and eased your pain then at the hospital last year....
I hope you are watching me and still proud of me, still loving me from afar...

Please protect  me me from sorrows of the past, and from the emptiness of being alone.