Mother's day gift

I really just wanted to get mum a soft padding to put under her whenever she lies down. But I walked away with a mattress...

Mum looked terribly ill today. For the two and a half hours I was there with her, she said very little. She had her eyes closed most of the time, except when I was showing her fascinating pictures of nature and of her grandchild on her eeepad. Otherwise, she sat lay there, and sat up for a little while, and just closed her eyes. From her facial expression you could see she was in a lot of discomfort...

Her red blood cell count is low again, and the doctor decided to give her yet another transfusion. As the two pouches of dark red blood dripped nip her veins, she became colder and colder. "It's so cold..." I covered her with another blanket, and held onto her hand to keep her warm. But still she was shivering. It is a common side effect of transfusions to feel wither cold or burn up in a fever, as the body has to adjust to foreign bodies.

Mum ate very little today, and for dinner just had a cup of warm drink, which is worryingly little. She said she had no appetite, and feels pain in the region where the bile tube is placed. Earlier in the day, her tube was changed to a thicker one so that there would be a better flow of bile out of her. It was yet another painful procedure and they administered a local anaesthesia. While they changed the bile induction tube, they also took images to see whether it is feasible to place a more permanent tube inside of her body so that mum does not have to carry a bile pouch with her all the time. The doctor came back and the initial assessment is that it is not suitable. No explanation was given as yet. I suspect it has to do with the spread in the duodenum, which may have worsened to an extent that the bile ducts are blocked and have no way out...

I sat quietly next to mum, leaned my head against hers and stroked her hands. Silently, I prayed and wished that she would feel better. I've done this a million times, but I still do it again and again in moments of despair. Why? Because what else can you do? What else other than hold her, touch her body and wish that hopefully whatever positive vibes and wishes will pass through the contact of our skin and quell her cancerous cells...

I left mum who had her eyes closed and who looked so very, very tired... I had to brave a smile as I left the room and wished her goodnight...

I didn't go home immediately. After a quick dinner (again, fast food...) I went to the department store she used to frequent a lot. I've been asking myself what I could do about her sore back, sore bum and sore shoulder blades. Much of the sores is due to the fact she does not have much 'meat', meaning if she lies for a long time, the pressure on her bones gets unbearable. She already has a padding, which she shifts from her shoulder to her back or to wherever the sore is most felt. But sometimes, she complains she is sore all over...

So I walked into the store, initially wanting to just buy another memory foam padding, so she has two and would have a greater surface coverage of her back side. Each costs NT$3600 (approx. US$120...) I was not surprised at the price, for the brand is her favourite, and she has a collection of pillows, a head-rest and even a comfy chair, the padding of all of which are made by  Tempur-- a company made famous when it invented a padding to relieve astronauts of the stresses of large G forces in outer space.

The storelady showed me the padding, the exact same one mum has, and she asked me what the pad is for. without going into details of what condition she has,  I explained to her mum's sores, how she feels sores and pains almost throughout her back side. The lady  told me I'm better off buying a mattress (overlay). "Simply place it over her existing mattress, and she would not need any other accessories."

I tried the mattress out, and it felt really comfortable, except for one thing. It was close to a thousand dollars, far, far more than I thought I would be spending. But the idea attracted me. If it can really reduce mum's sores, especially if she is going to be lying in bed for a long period of time, then what price tag can you put on that? I told the lady frankly that I did not have the necessary amount of money, at least not in case. "Is there anything more you could do about the price..?" I asked, "It's really hard seeing mum have so much sores, and not be able to do anything about it..." She understood, and for a moment there was a connection. She saw my heart, my intentions are genuine, and that I am truly buying it out of concern, out of love for my mother's comfort and wellbeing. The lady was moved, and said it is rare to see a child wanting to buy something for his mother.

She gave me a twenty percent discount, and then took off another hundred dollars or so under their "old for new" policy (whereby you give your old mattress for recycling). "I'm moved," she said, "As it's almost Mother's Day, I will give you a heart-shaped cushion for free too. But I'll have to clear it with my boss first." The heart-shaped pillow, also made of the same memory foam material as the mattress and pillows, costs over US$200 alone.

She rang her boss, and they spoke for a good five minutes. I could hear the lady say that there is a child who wants to buy something for his mother, but he doesn't have much. The boss was adamant that the pillow cannot be given away for free. Later, the lady came back to me and said it doesn't matter what the boss said. "I'll give you the pillow regardless!"

I was very touched, and had traces of tears shimmering in my eyes. I thanked the lady again and again, again and again. "Money you can always make..." I said. She finished my sentence: "But you only have one mother! Are you a single child?"

"I have a brother," I answered.

"Well, ask him to pay half of it!"

"He just got a child..." I explained. More to myself I guess, to justify to myself why my brother would not be contributing to this purchase. Just the other day, he was telling me how thrift he and his family must be as he's not working and is back here.

I walked away from the store with a large package and heart-shaped pillow, and hauled it all the way home. Along the way, I imagined mum's surprise when she sees it. I told the lady mum would get mad if she were to see that I bought her something else. "Just say it's discounted. Or better yet, just hide it under the mattress cover, so she won't see it!"

I smiled as I walked, and imagined the day mum sleeps on the mattress for the first time. Perhaps I will not be there to see that moment, but I smiled at the thought that even if I am away, my presence and the way I can touch her heart  can still be felt...