Two more days till I leave, and I fill so stressed. Not that I'm unprepared to leave, just I have a lot of material to cover still for the first exam I'm about to do on 3 October.
As I'll be in a retreat, there's really not much time for me to study, so I need to at least have read everything at least once before I leave. So many pages to go through, and to be honest I'm a little lost how much I'm supposed to know and greatly overwhelmed by the cases and articles i still need to read.
At the same time, I feel distracted, tired and weighed down, verging on breakdown. I'm so lost in thought and numbed by the emotional ups and downs of the past few weeks i don't know where to begin, how to begin describing what I'm feeling. relationship woes, mum's I'll health... I know they occupy a lot of my mind and dreams... Two reoccurring themes on my life that have cast such a heavy shadow over my life and my mind, two things I cannot easily just let go off and stop thinking about.
I know when the moment I step into the monastery I will calm down and recover my peace... But till then, a long few days I need to face full on and overcome.
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