Leaving

I said goodbye to a friend and watched as she walked down my flight of stairs and disappear into the distance. I've known her for four years, almost as soon as I got to Canada. 

Through I've been distant (generally towards everyone...) she's been a dear, dear friend. She used to come by so often, take care of my cat whenever I was away, comfort me when I was feeling heartbroken and down, advise me when I needed ell and advice. And her mum would often give me delicious food and fresh noodles. 

The hours we shared conversations, the bike rides we took together, the Costco trips she took me on. All in the past as as walked away from my apartment. In a few hours she would board a plane and fly to Vancouver, where she would begin her new life and new job...

I'm on my way now to see a friend I've known also since I arrived in Canada. My first real friend really. And though we've grown distant from one another too, she will always be special. She was the one I adopted my cat with. She was the one who helped me look for and move into my second apartment. She was the one who got me interested in learning French and helped me through hours of conversations to improve my French. She's moving away to Toronto. 

Two friends leaving at the same time. I'm leaving too, on a flight home, on a trip I honestly do not wish to embark on. 

Leaving and going, going and leaving. It's trying to face these goodbyes and I feel the emptiness compound even more. At the end of it all, I am left all alone. 

And I dread, dread the emptiness, the void of  feeling abandoned and being all alone.