Operation Eternal...?

Operation Eternal...?
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My friend and I were on the metro. One thing led to another, he mentioned "Operation Eternal Happiness", and unexpectedly those words struck a painful chord deep down inside. I looked away and tried hard to compose myself and prevent my tears from falling. I failed...

I wish I could be stronger, wish there were not "mines" that would trigger me to drop suddenly into sadness. Because I hate to see my feelings affect those of my friend. He cried with me, and though I wiped away the tears from his face, he shed some more. We hugged, and for a few moments bonded over my late mother. Memories of mum in the hospital, of us watching DVDs together, of mum's chest heaving as she gasped for breath came flooding back. Operation Eternal Happiness was, despite the name, difficult and long. But at least it seemed to have succeeded, and the end was indeed memorable and joyful.

I don't know what made my friend cry. But for so many years, he was there to support me. And he was there at the end, at the funeral when we bid our final farewell to mum.

"Mama, thank you. I will take care of myself more..." I wrote that note, a promise to her and to myself, and now it's taped to the door of a drawer in my kitchen and surrounded by pictures of mum in various places and poses. It's supposed to give me strength when I see the note everyday. But today, seeing it made me weak and cry...

Yes, I will try to take care of myself more, try to go on even though mum has left this world.