I'm sorry, mum...

I know I have said this to you, mum, perhaps far too few times... I know I have upset you, made you angry and frustrated, even though you are already in a lot of discomfort...

 I'm sorry mum, so very sorry, if in my own frustrations, in my own anger and moodiness, I was unkind to you, I was not loving or caring enough, or disappointed you so, as a son or as a human being... My anger and moodiness seem to wipe away everything I do for you out of unconditional love, out of my deep, deep care for your physical and mental wellbeing. I only wish you to get better, and never meant to cause you more reason or anguish to make your condition even worse...

 Please forgive me, if my words or tone were poorly chosen or chosen in spite... For I am ignorant in dealing with this all, and sometimes very stubborn and want things done my way, and I forget all too easily I am not the one with cancer. I forget all too quickly I am not the one living with constant pain and emotional heaviness...

I really am just trying to do the best I can, even though my 'best' is perhaps sometimes the worst... Please forgive me, mum... I'm very sorry if I have hurt you and caused you more anger, instead of giving you love and soothed your pains and discomforts...

Please forgive me, mum. I truly am sorry...