Disturbance

Finally managed to fall asleep, and the phone rang, very close to midnight. I thought it was something very important, the hospital calling or something. Anxiously I scrambled to pick up the phone quickly, though I was very tired.  It was only my ex. Calling to ask how I'm doing. At that hour I didn't want to say much. I don't  want to say much to him nowadays. I know he cares a lot, and he probably stalks this blog everyday for whatever news he can get. He knows exactly how I'm doing, so I'm not sure why he still wants to call and talk.   I just don't want to talk to him about any of the intimate details of my life or mum's illness  any more, because he'll just break down and cry like so many times before. I don't need tears at this moment, and he doesn't need it either. He made that so clear to me.  I just don't want to talk to him and spoil the "happiness" he's managed to find.  I clearly remember what he said to me over and over again, and again just before my departure. It'll take time for me to get over that and to be able to speak to him normally again. Till then I really have nothing to say. I asked him how's doing. He said he was doing well, he was at work. "Good," I said.  "Take care," I said before I hung up the phone. My sleep disturbed...

張震嶽-愛我別走
 [If you] Love me don't go


 (translation mine)

When I come to this moment it is the same,
The loneliness at night causes one to be sad,
I do not dare to think too much, because I am by myself.


The light of the moon facing me pulls the shadow of my body longer,
Aimlessly walking on the cold, cold street,
I have no news of you, because I am thinking of you.

[If you] love me don't go,
If you say "You don't love me"
[I] don't want to hear you really say it out loud,
Give a little more warmth and tenderness.