Lying

I had to lie this morning to my mum. I was up at 7.30, and all dressed up. Though she could not tell that my clothes were wrinkled and the same as the ones I wore yesterday, she did comment that it  was the shirt that she bought me when we were traveling in BC during the Summer.

To the question why I was up so early, I made up that I had to go see someone... And when she pressed me for whom,  I said my professor. In truth, I needed to get up early to go see the doctor about my swollen thumb, which has caused me much pain, distress and sleeplessness. I didn't want to tell her I was going into the clinic, because otherwise she would get all worried. And having just finished another chemotherapy session, the last thing she needed was worry and stress. So I would rather hurt my own karma by lying than causing her worry...


The doctor said it was nothing too serious, and the swelling was the result of an "ingrown nail", which in turn is probably caused by some kind of infection that got into my gnawed finger nails. Terrible habit of mine I've had since a child, which does not seem to stop... And actually, I've had very similar swelling and pain  before in other fingers. All that needs to be done is let the pus somehow get out of the skin, and the swelling will go down. I was much relieved, and left the clinic with my first prescription for antibiotics. For the next days or so, I'll have to soak my thumb in warm water to let the skin soften and try to get the pus out, which should relieve the pain and cure my swelling...

While at the doctor, I told her about my poor quality of sleep. She said I should exercise more, get my body to be physically tired, and not just mentally tired, so that I will rest better. I told her about all the dreams I have, all the thoughts that are going on inside my head, and she just said it's nothing to be alarmed about, rather physical exercise and longer sleeping hours will improve my sleep quality. No drugs or pills can help me, just good rest and a relaxed mind.

That's good to know.