Tears of no reason

I popped by a neighbour/friend's house to drop the keys to my apartment. The friend was not home, but her mum, someone who has been like a 'big' mother to a bunch of us friends in the neighbourhood, was.

I told the auntie my decision to suddenly go home, citing my worries about mum's latest chemo. She looked at me with concern and care. "You are so filial and caring to your mother..."

At that point I could hardly contain my tears. I had to turn away and swallow so hard to sound normal when I spoke again. But the waver in my voice betrayed my feelings, betrayed the worries of a child who is again thrust into confusion and fear by the unstable conditions surrounding his mother's health...

The auntie went into the kitchen, and took out some food and soup which she had made and wanted to give me. I was touched, so touched to the heart by this yet another act of giving and generosity, that I was almost bursting with tears. Almost. I thanked her deeply, my gratitude knowing no boundaries, not only toward her, but also toward my friend (who was not there), and toward my other friends who are so willing to lend a helping hand whenever I am away. She told me to call whenever I need anything, even if it is just to talk, she can be there to listen.

I took the food, though it was cold having been in the fridge a little while, it felt heartwarming to the touch. I thanked her, thanked her again, and gave her a hug. I could no longer speak, and I turned to walk away. Just before closing the door, I thanked her again, and briefly looked at her. Somehow, my own emotions, the tears on the rim of my eyes made her eyes moist and red.

"Goodbye", I said, "And thank you..."

I walked home, the whole world a watery blur, my heart aching, my breathing laboured, and my mind wondering when I will see her again, and how I could possibly return her continuous acts of kindness and care...