Tensions

Mum was miserable again. Is it because of the pain she feels still from her surgery? The doctor said operations on the spine take the longest time to heal and are perhaps the most painful, for they have to "peel" back the muscles to get to the spinal column. I saw a picture of that before, when the young surgeon showed it to me on his iPhone...

Or perhaps mum is miserable and grumpy because of brother's presence? As much happiness and joy my nephew brings, it does not distract from the fact that my brother does nothing at all to help. I ask him to help with the dishes... "Later..." I ask him to massage mum a bit to prevent bed sores, and he looks at me as if that were the strangest request... Just this morning, as he tried to make powdered milk for my nephew, he noticed the hot water kettle was empty. Mum, despite her pain and discomfort from standing up and doing simple chores like washing up, had to haul the kettle with three litres of water in it from the kitchen to the living room...

Privately, mum grumbled to me about how little (or nothing at all...) my brother does. It bothers her greatly, makes so upset she was almost shouting, even though her voice was very weak and broken.

What am I supposed to say...? I know he's busy and he has a baby to take care of, but still he can do other things too,  No? I told him already the day to help out more around the house while he's around. I asked him why I have to do much of the housework (my sister-in-law helps out) while he's not around, and even when he's around. What difference does it make him being here if that's the case? He didn't say anything.

She is his mother, just as much as she is his mother... Do I not deserve some time to myself or a break from everything? I wanted to take some time off to retreat into the mountains for a day or two, but now I can't do that because brother will be gone for an entire week, again.

Have I not been doing enough and put all my own things and plans on hold to be here? Just a little help, just a few dishes, just to share the burden of caring and tending to mum's needs... Is that too much to ask?