Talk

It's rare that brother and I have time to really talk these days, especially as we live on different parts of the world. Even though he's been back for almost a month, most of the time he is away in his in-law's city, or sitting in front of the television.

The last time we had a heart-to-heart was probably just after dad passed away and around the same time when mum began her first chemotherapy treatments. That was already  four years ago. Again, sickness and death brings people together...

I sat down on the floor and began what I wanted to say about mum's condition. He listened t what I had to say about stopping treatment and just "letting things be". And he threw the question back at me: "What's going to happen then?"

I honestly do not know what will happen. The worse case scenario is that the cancer will start to spread dramatically, and there will come a point when mum will experience terrible pain. But between then, if and when 'then' comes, and now, at least mum can enjoy a relatively quiet life and not have to pop into the hospital every two weeks for treatments, appointments and the nausea and misery after the treatments.

Brother listened to me as I told him how mum has on numerous occasions told me about her intention to "end this all", about how the continuing treatments are eroding her will to live and tiring her (and tiring me too...). I reminded him that it was four years she went through chemo after chemo, and how every few months for the past four years, I come back to be with her. I reminded him that ever since her retirement last year, she has been doing treatment... December, March, April to June, two months of travelling and then resuming treatment again in September, until December, until her recent surgery.
If this does not mentally and physically erode someone's spirit and body, what will?

"What's going to happen when she stops treatment?"

I can't say...

But he believes she should continue with it all.