first concert

They say the first time is the most memorable, and it's true. It was, as the evening drew to a close and as my friend joke, "orgasmic" with all those lights, the fans, the music, and the highlight of the singing and dancing live on stage.

I was invited to go to the concert a few weeks ago, and at first i wasn't too enthusiastic about it. There were some complications (or perhaps I was making it feel as such...) about who's going and whatnot. Plus, I feel I've been spending far too much money, especially after seeing my credit atrocious card bills after mum left... And, though I may know the tunes and songs when I hear them, I've never been someone who goes out to buy an album of any singer in particular, so I feel kind of left out when it comes to who sings what and what the chart topping hits are.

But that all didn't matter much in the end. A pop concert is in the End much like an evening at the theatre or musical, except the entire act revolves around a star, and in this case Janet Jackson. She sang various songs from her best selling number ones, some of which were from before I was even born, but some songs of which everytime I hear on the radio can easily make my heart swoon and at times eyes moisten.

During the concert, there were moments we all stood and danced and clapped our hands to the beat. And then there was this slow, romantic interlude in between, with songs that spoke more meaningfully to me than ever before... Broken hearts, deep longings, lost love, and dreams of togetherness with the one again... I don't know what my friend felt, but sitting next to him, and at times gently, subtly stroking his hand and body, it felt bitter and sweet, romantic and, at the same time, there were feelings that were strange or even misplaced.

When Janet did a quick, upbeat rendition of "Together Again" I could not but feel for her, and myself. Images of her brother flashed on the screen behind her, and despite the cheeriness of the music, the gleeful dance movements, it is such a personal song...



"Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smiling back at me

Dancing in the moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz I can see your star
Shining down on me"

Personal for different reasons... For her, she dedicated the song originally to a friend she lost to AiDS, but after her brother's sudden death, it must have gotten new meaning.

I wiped away my tears as my memories drifted uncontrollably to dad's smile, smiling down at me from up above... The music, the dancing, the cheering and close of the crowd did not easily distract from the emptiness I temporarily felt inside.

My friend comforted me and I felt better after a late night snack and lighthearted chat.

But it was an evening to remember, for sure.