The past

It happened over three years ago. But I was reminded of it today while browsing through my email folders. It had escaped me, even though at the time it hurt be deeply, so bad I had to run out of the office and cry on the streets before collecting myself and returning to work.

I had just lost my dad, and returned to work after a month of being away. A friend, and colleague, someone with whom I thought I was close, pulled a terrible prank on me. It was so bad I was silenced and hurt beyond belief. I just ran out of the office.

Most painful of all was the betrayal. I thought there was something between us, a friendship that had developed through our studies and outside thereof. But even something strong can weaken and break down with one episode of poor judgement. After I collected myself, I told him it was cruel and insensitive of him. He apologised profusely and bought me a gift in an attempt to make amends. I accepted his apology. But things were never the same again. And a friendship I thought I found for life waned and eventually disappeared, buried under events, memories and people that came to fill my life since. 

The email I received was his apology. He had sent it almost a year after the incident. I must have read it, but never replied to him. He said he sometimes lay awake at night, tormented by what he had done to me, and asked for my forgiveness again. I don't know why I never replied. I was over it. Time, the passage thereof, had healed my hurt, and I had moved on. Thinking back, it is an episode I can talk and write about, and not feel the same degree of pain I had felt back then.

I guess reading (or re-reading rather) his email today made me realise again... hurt, however deep, betrayal, however painful, will subside. And time, time may not always heal all wounds, but time can make you forget the details, the faces, the words that made you so upset and distraught in the first place. And some friends will come and go, just as those moments when you feel like the world is tumbling down, will come and go.