Will

I don't know how we got onto the topic, but out of nowhere my friends brought up the topic of writing a will. It sounds silly, especially at this age, and as I've not got much to give away should anything happen to me. But perhaps it's not really silly after all, and in fact I've thought about it somewhat over the past few years, especially since dad passed away and as mum's health has declined.

I wouldn't know what I would leave behind to the world. All the worldly possessions and whatever is in my money I could give to charity... perhaps some dear friend would get a treasured item or two. But for the rest, at least so far, I have not left much on this world except the impressions on the lives of people who have come into my life. Perhaps that is my legacy.... I try, and keep on trying, to make people dear in my life feel valued and special, cared for and important. And no where is that more clear in the way I treat my own mother. And I know, or at least I feel, I am capable of doing that to others who have a place in my heart.

The conversation moved onto investments and life policies. Someone said it was not important for gays to have those, especially if we don't have children. More important is to have some kind of disability insurance in case something happens, so that you can at least be independent. Put it crudely, chances are you will be single and there will be no one really to take care of you.

Hearing that make me think and become somewhat apprehensive. Of course that is all speculative and one never knows what will happen... but it may be true, especially being alone and single that it will be harder for me to depend on any kind of safety structure should anything like an illness or disability occur to me. Most people would have families to fall back on, a spouse or children to provide moral and emotional support. But if I am to be single then really I need to think of contingency plans and ways to safeguard my own future.

It all sounds and feels very abstract and premature, I know. But really, when I am reminded of  the prospect of being single and having no offspring, then a sort of alarm goes off deep inside.