Feeling good~

Rant alarm: yellow

Situation: you agreed to meet someone. But on the day you agree to meet he's still not called you yet. When should you call someone but not seem like you're desperate?

Just as I was wondering whether my friend would call to meet tonight, the phone rang. Hm, be there in an hour he said.

Quickly I tidied up the paintjob I was doing, jumped into the shower and got dressed. I looked good, I felt good, and it's really been a long long time since I last felt so good. Then again it's been a long long time since I last 'went out' with someone. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw...and that isn't often. Put on a fancy shirt with thin green vertical lines (look smart in it a friend said), pair of jeans...did my newly-cut hair a bit with gel, and out I went. Just as I stepped out the door I remembered: I forgot perhaps the most important thing! Parfume! (not that I'd smell without it) Quickly I rushed back up and sprayed some Aqua di Gio. It felt kind of weird I went through all this trouble since it wasn't a date or anything like that; just meeting up with a friend I've not seen for over a year. But it felt like it was a 'date'....I used to have the biggest crush on him, and I guess the effects are still lingering. I looked gorgeous, felt light and flighty, and smelled luscious I could take a bite out of myself. Out I went, peddling and panting, my usual selection of feel-good music in my ears, towards the city.

Stood waiting at the cinema for Him, and He showed up. He wasn't alone, which was sort of a surprise, and shame too. There was a girl (aaaah girl!), a classmate of ours I haven't seen in over 5 years. They happened to meet on the streets and she decided to join us for a while. Felt kind of awkward, since I've never been good in situations involving more than a tete-a-tete (one-to-one). For some time we wondered around the shops and sat down for a bite to eat, the three of us, but it seemed like the girl was hogging the conversation, and all the attention. It's not that she's not nice or unfriendly, just I thought this was going to be my evening with Him (no, not God, but the friend).

Thank goodness she left just as we were about to go into the cinema. And for the rest of the evening it was just Him and I. Yeah!
X-men III we watched....ah, a little disappointed since the previous two were awesome. This one seemed to be in such a rush to tie the loose ends and end the story that lots of bits were either soooo cheesy or corny. And the plot doesn't exactly follow the comics either. Perhaps the uber-use of special effects and the looks and bods of Iceman and Angel kept me from feeling bored through most of it.

After the movie we went for drinks. Sat in the open cause the sun was out (finally, after a week of rain and wind), but it was freeeeezing. We talked like I never left, about this and that. A lot about what I did in the past year (travel, travel, travel), and about interesting things that have been happening. We have this way of mocking each other, we play 'word games', and poke fun at each other. Then there's what I call 'philosophising'....about the meaning of life, existence, what it means to be free, whether 'democracy' is really as free as it claims to be (no!) etc etc. Dorky it might all sound, but to us it's all fun and took our friendship eight years down the road.

I feel so free whenever I'm around him, like I could say anything, make jokes, and not feel constrained in any way at all. It's rare that I feel that way around anyone, very rare. And when I walk around with him I feel kind of 'proud'. It's a strange feeling really, not sure if anyone has this as well. Just walking around with this sweet and cute guy makes me feel confident and proud. Of course he's not my boy-friend, but he could be mistaken to be just that. Even that girl who hung out with us at the beginning commented that He and I "bicker like ladies" (and she wasn't the first to say that). Which is true probably...we tend to fuss about this and that the way girls do when they're unsure what to do or eat or where to go. I noticed a lot of people looking our direction, perhaps looking at the way He and I were joking and talking, and perhaps thinking "Now there's a happy couple"... could be all in my head, but there's a strange and uplifting feel to it all.

We walked around and got another bite to eat (we tweens (twenty-teens) are constantly hungry), then ended up in an Irish pub with great pop music. Had a couple of pints of Guinness, couple of vodka colas and ended up pretty tipsy in the end. (If you're thinking there's drunken sex coming up, forget it). Talked some more, and this time serious stuff. Somehow we ended up talking about family life and he shared with me something he never told anyone before (which I won't go into). I felt 'honoured' that he confided in me. I guess I've always had a way with people, and they tend to feel at ease telling me the deeper (sometimes darker) sides of life. (I was in fact elected class therapist once.) We were there for hours and just sat, listened to each other, while a candle burnt next to us. The pale flame cast a dim light and light shadows on his face, his lips, his dimples... his blue eyes expanded in the semi-darkness, his dirty-blond hair hung across his forehead...

Before you know it it was time to go. He had to go back to another city where he lives, so we parted. And I cycled home. The alochol had by then worn off, but the sense happiness and warmth inside of me did not.