She was/is my cat, and we have such a beautiful bond that lasted for almost four years till I left to Canada. She kept me company, her purrs kept me feeling warm and loved and appreciated. Her green eyes could melt away the worries on a frustrating day, her presence could bring my brother and I together and give us a shared moment when our relationship is tense.
She is Kleine Kat (Little Cat), because she was the littlest cat of her litter. And I love her, even though I have been away from her for so long, even though I now have my own cat. I guess this demonstrates clearly and old love does not die simply because you replace it with another. The emotions are still there, the attachment is still strong and ne'er severed, even with distance and time.
Her heart is beating slower and slower now. Even slower than an aged cat, even though she's only 9 or so. It's dangerously slow as due to a leak in her heart, the blood is not flowing well enough. Fluids have collected in her lungs, in her abdomen and other organs. She is literally drowning from the inside. Brother told me she's breathing laboriously, and moving about is uncomfortable. It wrenches my heart to hear this. Another being so dear, so dear to me about to leave me again...
My brother said not to go, said its insane to travel again just for a cat. Spend so much money for what? For a good bye? For one last touch, one final stroked her fur...? Is it worth?
Is any life or attachment worth it ever? Is any connection we make with a creature of this universe ever worth anything? Maybe Kitty will be so tired, in so much pain that she will not recognise me any more. But perhaps in her final moments, perhaps before she leaves this world, I can give her a semblance of comfort and love, affection and care, hold her in my arms as I used to do when she was ever so little... Cup her like a baby in my arms as she used to purr and state deep into my eyes...
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