I've been planning something for a while now. Since mum passed away really. The past year, a year of volatility and mourning, wasn't really conducive to making big decisions. But now I think I'm ready. One year on, I think I'm ready to take the first step to make a new start, to build a new home for myself.
I always imagined someone would be next to me while I begin another important era in my life. I always imagined mum would be there to help me and offer me advice. But the reality is I have nobody but myself to rely on, and I can't wait any longer. I'm not getting younger. I need to find a sense of belonging, need to ground myself somewhere so I can find and feel a sense of stability and security again. The past years has been filled with so much loss, uncertainty and disillusionment. What that does to a person, I know best. I can let myself wallow in pity and pain, or I can get up and move on. Didn't I just bike 230+km on my own? Didn't I just prove to myself if I set my mind to something, I can do it?
Where, how or when I'm not sure. But I'm free. Nothing, nobody is tying me down. Nothing, nobody is waiting for me. I am but responsible to myself.
Time for a new beginning. Time for a move.
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