Dream

Another horrible dream that "shocked" me awake... Just shows my psyche is still so traumatised and unable to get over loss. Not the loss of my parent, but a friend, a potential partner in life... 

I was planning a surprise, birthday surprise, for my ex. I woke up so early to prepare, and traveled far to his apartment . I waited and waited till it was a reasonable time to call. 

I called. And the phone was hung up. I called again. And my ex picked up. He was laughing. He was not alone. 

I cried...

Traumatising.