21 December 2012

End of the world...

Today was supposed to be the "end of the world". At least according to some who interpreted the end of the Mayan calendar cycle as the end of everything we know.

But the world is still standing, still turning, still alive.

Did I really believe the world would end? No, not really. But if it did end, I don't think I'll go with regret... My duties as son have been fulfilled. I think I've been a "good" person, and tried to do my best in everything I do. For sure, I have been ugly, had pride and jealousies, I have been ignorant and stubborn, and I have hurt people. And my karma for my wrong acts will one day come back to me... But on the whole, if I were to die today, I think I would be able to pass away in peace...

In preparation for what might have been the "last day", I wrote to my ex. It was a genuine mail, from my heart, thanking him for all he has given me, for loving me and making me love myself a little more. It was an expression of how much he means to me, and how despite all that we have gone through, despite tensions and arguments, I still see hope between us. Beautiful hope of a future together. He must think me insane, especially from his lack of response. But truly, of all the people I feel I should write to, he is the one. He can think what he wants, but I've been honest how I feel, and expressed what I needed to get out. So if the world should end, and if I should die, nothing has been unsaid, nothing not done...

The potential end of the world should make us all pause and reflect... What have we done with our lives? What is it that we leave behind? Is there anything I've done worth remembering? Who matters really in life? Who crosses my mind and do I think more than anything else...?

We should really think of these things, and appreciate what we have, hold on to what we have. We should not be afraid to tell people we love them and care about them so deeply. We should not be afraid to hold another person's hand and look them deeply in the eyes and say: "You matter. Thank you for being (t)here..."

But unfortunate the world doesn't always work that way.





No comments: