Fresh start?

Just as I thought it would be a fresh start, just as we're headed out to dinner, my ex says he has to call. To "report in" I guess.

Five minutes, he said, and told me to go ahead and wait and the restaurant. It's been over ten.

How did I get myself into this position again? How did I fall for the same guy who is already involved with another person? It feels like three years ago, when my ex had to "report in" to his ex back then, and had to sneak around and hide things, even though he was with me and having fun with me...

Sitting alone in the restaurant, waiting and waiting for him to show. I could jut leave, I should just leave. Around me are couples in love, couples holding one another's hands. I can't even comfortably do that with my ex...

How did I get myself into this? Why do I get myself into this? Do I never learn how humiliating and uncomfortable it is to be the "other person"?