Flying home

I was already awake, but too tired to get up and start the day. My phone rang. It was my brother.

I had waited for him to call till two in the morning. The fatigue brought me to sleep. Half past eight he rang and talked about the day and visit of the hospice carer and family doctor. "It's time..." they said. Time to enter hospice care. She is now on the waitlist for a room.

Brother kept on saying it's not yet that serious, and told me to stay put. But really what does it mean to enter the hospice ward?

I know, some people go in and ate discharged home a week or two later. But some never make it out.

Brother talked more about arrangements. At this stage, a close friend of mum's suggested looking at a place where we can place her altar foe the period from her passing to her funeral. Brother mentioned more about insurance payouts and inheritance. I listened, but not much of it registered. I know it is important, but it's just money, right? Money... Money.

I proceeded to book a ticket, flying out Sunday (four days from now). I hesitated to buy a ticket, hesitated and shopped around for a convenient flight that would allow me to fly with an upgrade on the long journey back to Taiwan (and back here, eventually). I know, how can I even think of luxury (and collecting air miles) at this point? But I think I really need it, I really need it to prepare myself mentally for the journey.

It will be a long trip, lasting a day and a half, and I should get there on Tuesday afternoon local time. Brother told me to wait a few more days till I buy a ticket, but I cannot wait. I want to know when I'm going back, I want to have the security of a ticket...

Things may change, circumstances may deteriorate, but at least now there is a date and a time...