The house is emptier now, quieter. Just mum and I left now. Brother gave me a hug before he left. "Thank you for everything all these months..." It was the first time he really acknowledged what I do here."Think about whether you want to come back here and work a bit..." I didn't say anything. I've been thinking about it too much.
The five week stay has come to an end. So quickly, it seems. I still remember that first night when brother arrived straight from the airport to visit mum at the hospital. She was steadily recovering then, and somehow her condition has gotten much worse, not better now that she's back home. I still remember the moment when mum met her grandchild for the first time... Mum played with him so often it has become part of her routine when she gets up in the morning. She'll sure miss him, for he was her source of inspiration, her sole source of hope and laughter, and of life. I miss already, despite how noisy and unruly he can be at night.
Brother was not always around, but he did what he could with the time he had. Of course, I could always lament him for not doing enough, for not being caring enough, but he is the way he is, and I am sure he is doing what he can. He has a different life from that of mine, different obligations and burdens. He has a family, a wife and child, who depends on him. All I have is a cat, and no one else who really matters or depends on me. At least not any more. I thanked him, as I did before, for bringing my nephew home, for making mum so proud and for giving her so many reasons to smile about. From the long hug he and mum shared just prior to walking out the door, I could see he cares deeply too. How could he not? He is her son too, and she is his mother. We all have different roles to play, and different responsibilities to share.
"I'll have to ask you to cover the costs for going to Canada," brother did not forget to say to me before he left. If all works according to plan, if mum's health is stable enough, and if she manages to recover her strength, the next time this family is reunited may very well be in Canada, in a few months' time. That's a lot of "ifs", but one must be optimistic, be hopeful, and to dream of that moment when all of us are gathered in my little apartment. How beautiful that moment would be... How I long for that day, one day...
I of course will do everything in my power to make sure that happens. This family has gone through so much over the past three, four years, and if there were one immediate wish, it is to come together in Canada. That is my wish as much as mum's, I'm sure. And the planned graduation ceremony in June will be the perfect occasion to bring us all together, to travel together.
Brother left, and the apartment is a little quiter, a little emptier now. Mum went back to sleep, and from her snoring I could tell she's finally managed to doze off, which is a relief after so many, many sleepless nights.
I am on my own now...
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