Lighten up

It's counterintuitive, it's against the grain of things, but in the face of heaviness, in the face of difficulties and sadness, lighten up! Smile, laugh, let go! In the face of fear, of gloom, of feeling like a failure, lighten up!

I spoke to the abbot in a personal interview and told him how much relationship woes and the health of my mother has weighed me down in recent years...

He was taken aback by all i've gone through already at my age.  illness and death... Sickness and dying. It is all the elements and certainties of life that the Buddha taught are  unavoidable and unchangeable.  And I've experienced it all, close up.

But I'm still here, I'm still standing. I'm still willing to go on and find peace, recover peace despite all I've gone through. An that is more than what a lot of people already.

 I may not be a perfect practitioner who meditates day and night, but the teachings and understandings are there and ingrained within me: nothing is ever permanent, everything will change... Everything will pass and disappear. Sadness, happiness, love, hatred, longing, loneliness... It will all disappear and come, come and disappear...

So lighten up! Don't take life so seriously! Don't frown and see things with gloom and doom! Don't see failure and live with regret and remorse about what could have been or what may have been... And don't live dreaming and fantasising about the future. Enjoy the moment, take in every single moment as if it were the last. Take in every single moment, take every single surrounding you find yourself in, take every person you are with, and experience that moment, that place, that person to the fullest. all we could ever do in life is try our best and do our best. Nothing more, nothing less.

What is worry and agitation going to do for you and your mother, he asked me. Nothing. In fact, wouldn't mum feel much better if she saw me happy, I she saw me do what I'm doing and pursuing my dreams and goals?

How can I help her if I myself are so angry and so torn by agitation, frustration and fear of her dying alone? I cannot cure my mum, that is the doctor's work, but I can give her bits of happiness and hope that will go a long long way. One day she will die, how or when nobody knows. But do all you can do support her, to make her feel loved and make her feel that this life has been worth it. That is all I can ever do, for her, for anyone. Make her feel special, make her feel that she is special, despite all the pain and suffering she may be experiencing. And to give her happiness and joy, I must develop it first within me.

Get rid of the negativities, get rid of unnecessary fetters ad worries, get rid of things and people who stand in the way of your happiness and make your life problematic. Infuse yourself with joy and beautiful things, surround yourself with people who care about you, who love you, who can support you and be a friend in the practice and pursuit of a meaningful life of spirituality and clarity.

Lighten up... Lighten yourself, lighten your load. The world, with all its people and places, is only ever so much.

The world is so beautiful... The forest so colorful, the sunset so magnificent and dazzling, the sky so pale, the wind so calming and cool... Just me and the sound of my footsteps, and the echoes of the monk's words: Lighten up!

I smiled and smiled, bearing a grin that strangers, if they see me now, would think I'm completely nutters. But the smile smiled itself, and even now as I type I cannot hide the grin...

 I have not felt so happy, so truly happy for a long, long time. I hope whenever I am sad, whenever I am feeling down and defeated, I will remember this moment, and that the memory of this moment will infuse into the future me, and make me smile and smile.


20.35
(from a dhamma talk by Ajahn Sona)

Imagine there is a smooth river, the river of life, and there are two shores. One filled with danger, prone to flooding and making you drown, another is a safe haven, a place of tranquility and serenity.

We have a choice... To struggle hard, to flap about wildly in the water. Or we can take things easily, we can drop things and float, let the river carry us eventually to safety.

Our intuition is to struggle hard, to resist the water because we are so afraid of drowning, afraid of losing everything, afraid of losing control, afraid of death and the uncertainties of where the river may carry us. The more we struggle, the more waves and whirlpools of confusion and agitation we create. The flooded shore awaits with fear, jealousy, ill-will, hatred, delusion, remorse and sadness. And somehow most  people go through life believing, thinking that the more we struggle, the more difficult and painful life is, the closer and easiest it is to saving ourselves and simplifying things.

But life can be easy, life can be smooth and flowing. That does not mean that no effort is needed or that one can be complacent ad just sit around. It means that you need to work In the right direction, have the right effort and rights views and realisations to propel yourself toward the shore of safety and tranquility. Coming to a place, taking time out, resisting the mainstream belief that we must be "doing" something to be useful and 'good' in society, is a beginning to reaching safer shores.

People may (and people have) question you on why you are locking yourself away and withdrawing from everything. Because it is necessary, to distance yourself from the people, objects and problems that you are too close too to realise that they are heavy on your shoulders or hinder your own growth and happiness. Think of a retreat, of meditation as lifting yourself up, as a charge of energy to propel you further, to allow yourself to be stronger in facing hurdles and difficulties in life and the world.

When problems and hurdles come, we want to resist. We want to cling onto old ways and old circumstances, believing that is best because we know nothing  else. But that resistance  causes us great suffering, because we are  powerless to stop change, for the world, people, even this "self" (this "me") we cling onto are CIA tangly changing, flowing, shifting.

 There is no need to resist, even though the temptation to resist when we are in the river of life is strong. Similarly, when we are surrounded by life, by the world, with all its pressures, people's and opinions, we feel often oppressed and unfree.

But free yourself you can by taking things lightly, by infusing yourself with goodness, compassion, kindness, love and clarity. Distance yourself from the burdens and unnecessary weightiness of anger, negativity and self doubt.

step back, breathe, and lift yourself up by letting go... And go with the flow.