Treatment number 9

Again, at close to four in the afternoon, mum and I walked slowly into the radiology ward. Another week begins, another five days of treatment. It's becoming like going to work, every single day, and the weekend she has off. Her throat ache is worsening, and now even swallowing her own saliva or drinking water hurts. As the doctor said, it will get worse before it gets better...

 Often the throat ache will cause the person to lose all appetite, and in the last ten days or so, ever since she began radiotherapy, she has lost three kilograms already. It is extremely worrying, as the doctor said some people lose up to ten kilos due to the treatment. Hearing that instilled fear in me, especially as I can see how eating and drinking has become such a (literally) pain-staking affair for mum. Every meal, I try to prepare something nutritious and make sure that mum eats well. But it really, really pains me to see her grimace and close her eyes from the unbearable every time she swallows. It hurts to see her obviously in pain performing such a normal every-day function as eating and drinking. Seeing her like this I too lose my appetite.

Sometimes, the pain of swallowing is so intense that I can see sweat emerge on her forehead. I try to cook 'soft' foods, often in liquid form, and this is where the blender comes in handy. And whenever mum finishes the food I have prepared for her, there is a sigh of relief that at least for this meal she has managed to eat, and that she will slowly regain her strength, or at least maintain her health. However, for the last two days not only has she had difficulty ingesting, on occasion she has also thrown up randomly for no particular reason. All this seems to throw the planned trip with me to Canada next month into question...

At the oncology ward, almost everyone is thin to the bone. A lady today, probably not much older than my own mum, was wheeled past me on a hospital bed, her arm so frail, so thin I thought it would easily snap. A middle-aged man, whose skin complexion was dark like charcoal, most likely from long term radiotherapy, sat on a chair in the waiting room. So thin he was that he reminded me of someone from a refugee camp plagued by starvation. Mum is somewhat 'lucky' that she has not reached that state yet, but her sores and conditions still troubles me greatly.

So just after her treatment today, I made an appointment with a nutritionist, who is only in the vicinity on Mondays. Luckily we managed to see her without much waiting, and for the next quarter of an hour or so she went through mum's eating habits. The diagnosis is that she is indeed not eating enough, especially not enough proteins and carbs, and if this continues, she will lose more weight. The nutritionist advised taking protein and carbs in powder form to supplement her diet, and these can easily be added to smoothies and juices I make for her without changing much of the texture or taste.

Gratefully, I thanked the nutritionist again and again, and now I am a little more confident about taking better care of mum in the coming period.